Questions meme! Confused the hell out of me at first....

Curiosity got me baited on this one... apologies in advance, y'all :P

Meme questions!
from notmonica

1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits the question.
3. Answer one question with one name.
4. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme. If you want to know, comment and I will send the questions to you but then you have to do the meme too.

1)aurora_z, and for good reason!
3) Ya know? Honestly, me. Always have felt that way :)
4)firegypsy - her place is the headquarters!
5)hapykhiken :)
6)generalmanda, and good ones! ♥
7)caseadillas, understandably!
8)freesnowcone, HANDS DOWN :)
9)notmonica - and your answer to this one, too :)
10)sidhemeabh for sure! Much respect, babe ♥
12)voldiebeth, always has been, always will be; from the inside and on the outside ♥
13)stupid_drawings should be!
15)novan - I'd pay money to see it!
16)brittlepoetry :)
17)thorto! Kindred, baby!
18)mental_thatone :)
19)crabnebula78, and I can't wait to hear all about it :)
20)rivendellelf23 STRONG rock star!
21)tapestrymlp ♥ ♥ ♥
22)Googled like hell and couldn't find what this means.
23)hak42, especially at this stage in our journeys :)
24)tatiana422 ;)
25)bulletslc effortlessly :)
26)dramaquinn, mwuahaha :)
29)mithfalas fo' sho ♥
30) These answers should hopefully reflect that I admire, appreciate and respect you :) Thank you for enriching my life with your presence, and I'm gifted and blessed to know you ♥
  • Current Music
    "Next Lifetime (live)" by Erykah Badu
  • Tags

Daily reminders

Every day I wake up and give gratitude for another day and opportunities, and I say surrender prayers to let go and let higher consciousness take over the temporary thoughts of small mind.

Every day it takes a little something extra to get moving, and though I spent an extra hour in bed (granted my alarm time was off, but I *did* naturally wake at 6AM), I got up before I had to and got my daily routine going. First thing's first - clean up the cat's area, feed them, give them some love and get my breakfast prepared (I eat breakfast before running at the university, but on weekends I'll have a quick snack before hitting the road. This is another habit I'd like to possibly standardize, but for now I'm happy that I'm getting my ass moving when I get out of bed).

I remind myself and give gratitude for the blessings I have now, especially that I'm living in a home with two wonderful roommates, that I still have my car, that I have food to eat and that all of my needs are met and exceeded. There are more things that I *want*, but being thankful for what I already have is of major importance now.

I've been having some weird dreams which seem indistinguishable from reality. The colors, the tone, the subject... it's more stuff my mind wants closure to. Strangely enough, it's not anything immediately pressing, but it's rooted in love and letting go.

Thankfully immediately after that one I dreamed that I got the job I interviewed for on Tuesday, so that made me feel great! My mind's ready for the work, now we just gotta wait for the offer! It's coming :)

As for running and conditioning, I cranked out a 4-mile run today at the gym. My iPod is so dead it won't even take a charge, so thank goodness I'm past needing pounding music in my ears to get through a run (I needed it SO badly when I started and when I had to start up again after I moved back here). So I plug my ear buds into the deal on the treadmill and watch/listen to cooking shows :P

Though each run is challenging (still learning to enjoy them), it's a good practice in visualizing and keeping faith in myself. The end of the run is always euphoric, and it reminds me that it's just as important to be thankful, happy and positive in good times as it is in the harder ones (...like before runs!).

My nutrition was good yesterday, which made up for the REALLY bad decisions I made the day before. I keep finding myself going out of control when I have a small indulgence, and it's a reminder that I'm not at the same point I was when I was losing 2 pounds per week consistently. I can't go under calories after a bad day, I just gotta stick to my program, leave the bad days in the past and let it fucking GO. So again, I'm re-learning that if I can say no to temptations ONCE, I can say no to them the rest of the day.

It's still important to have indulgences every now and then, but for my personality type, I should have a designated day once a week, and to be mindful about what I'm eating.

When this first started, I wanted to work on building better mental habits (after all, it starts in mind first!) to strengthen my resolve for this massive life change. Thank God I have kept off the 100 pounds I lost and lost more on top of that, but now is about finishing what I started and maintain this for the rest of my life. And even if I'm going through a huge transition accompanied by doubt, depression, anxiety, stomach bullshit, I can still take care of myself and allow good to shine through more and more each day.

The light shines in the darkness, even more so in the pitch black. I was outside one night in the garden (which will be bountiful next year!) and I realized how brilliantly the stars shine against the black sky, especially just before sunrise. I love getting up before the sun and meeting the day before it does :) When I run outside on the weekends, I head east first so I can watch the sun come up and greet me and the tree frogs, lizards and bugs that are awake and active with me. It's a great experience in being One with everything, always, all the time.

There are a few daily practices I'm using to keep the blues from overtaking my mind. Again, the thoughts cross my mind (and are persistent) and though I can't necessarily stop them from floating around, I can stop them from spreading, overwhelming me and making me forget who I really Am and what I Am capable of (and what I've already accomplished).

First of all, I give gratitude. It's so important to keep things in perspective - after all, I have a home, I Am fed, I Am loved, I Am physically strong, I Am smart, I Am free, I live in a beautiful place with great people, I have transportation and I have an education. There are a vast multitude of additional things as well!

Secondly, I've been reminding myself how important it is to keep faith in myself, to love and accept myself, and to take credit for my accomplishments. It's my feet hitting the ground (or treadmill) each run, it's me putting the right food in my body, it's me doing the prayer work and smiling. I look in the mirror and say, "I love you. I accept you unconditionally. I am proud of you."

Being mindful of inner peace helps as well. By "remembering to remember", I can stop the spread of "what if" thinking and immerse myself in the present moment.

How awesome - I'm listening to Pandora and I created an India Arie station, and this great song just came on :)

Collapse )

After I run I always feel amazing. I feel full of hope, joy, gratitude and positive energy. I know the feeling is genuine, and though it is marvelous, I also know that it will eventually wear off, thanks to life's continual stimulation. Until I reach full and perfect enlightenment, I will always be human and have human thoughts and reactions.

However, I know ultimate truth, and I know there's still so much more to do in this life, and it's lived one day at a time, one moment at a time.

I think about other people I know and admire, and what would they do or say if I asked them how they get through their day.

I think of amazing mothers like tapestrymlp and notmonica, who are two of the strongest, positive, loving, adaptive and intelligent people I know.

I think of my friend Cassia at church, who came to this country pregnant and fought every day to stay in the U.S., be with her husband and stay strong in her faith.

I think of generalmanda and how powerfully dense that woman is in awesome! She plows through SO much and makes it look easy (and we all know it's NOT) and has such a great way with people.

I think of Peg, Rob, my uncle Richie and everyone I know and admire for their fight and victories over cancer, and how lucky the world is to have such strong survivors.

I think of Winston Churchill, Sojourner Truth, Martin Luther King, Mohandas Ghandi, Jesus, the apostles and Paul, and the extra efforts they continually put in, their resolve, their timeless contributions and the amount of love and hope they gave us all.

I think of my grandfather who fought every day of his life to make things better for everyone he loved. I think how, despite everything, he had the power to love and let love into his life. I think about how hard he worked so his family could prosper. Selflessly, in his last moments, he waited for all of us to let him go, and didn't go until several of us told him that it was okay.

I'm so happy and thankful that infinite blessings and amazing people have shared their lives, stories and dreams with me, and I want to go as far as my skills, abilities and attitude will take me. And when I can't flap my wings, I feel lifted by the love and good fortune I've had in this life, and it picks me up and gets me moving.

Thank you all for being part of this life and experience with me, and may our present and futures be as marvelous as we are :) ♥

Job, running, focus!

I prepared myself with index cards and practiced interviewing for a few hours on Sunday and Monday, brushing up on skills that haven't been used in years and years! Thankfully I actually *like* the interview process, and putting in the effort felt good.

Anywho, I did a good, solid 3-mile run today (though I wanted to do 4, but time was running short) and pushed myself harder and harder as the run progressed. I'm still running a steady pace, and I think if I keep pushing myself harder on these short runs, it will pay off for the long runs. Conditioning, baby!

Then I showered and got dressed. Mentally prepped myself in the locker room as I unloaded the shit I didn't need and grabbed my purse and professional folder to take with me.

When I got to the office, I immediately met up with a woman I knew when I worked on campus from back in the day :P She hadn't seen me since I've lost weight, and it was great to catch up with her - and it's always fun getting the reactions from people who I haven't seen in a while :)

After I chatted with her, more and more people I knew came out and it really made me feel comfortable and relaxed. The energy was good, and when I was introduced to the main interviewer, I was ready!

I interviewed with the two women I'd be working directly with, the department head and another leader. They were all very welcoming and warm, and I feel it went really well. When I asked what are the characteristics of their most successful employees, they reiterated some traits they recognized in me :)

I should hear back within a week, and the position is immediately available. It's my hope that I get the spot - it's an interesting job and I've got the education and background for the work, and it'd be a good opportunity for me.

It'll be great to work with people who are positive and composed, and it's a chance to improve on things I could work on while I keep moving forward in this life. Also, hopefully I'll have an opportunity to catch up and start saving again, which will hold me down and lighten the burden when I go back to school.

We'll see how it goes!

Thanks for the well-wishes - it felt great to know I have support, and when I get down from time to time, that energy lifts me up and enables me to realize who I *really* am, and that challenges are just temporary.

... I'm actually wearing a dress today! It threw a few people off :P
  • Current Music
    "Over the Hills and Far Away" by Led Zepplin
  • Tags
    , ,

Focused, alert, driven

Interview tomorrow at 9AM, woo hoo! I've been asking people to pray for me, and I know that the interview will go well. I've been practicing! I'm looking forward to the opportunity, and I know working at the university will be a positive experience.

Right now I'm focusing my energies on maintaining inner peace and calm. If I am to be receptive to good things, first I want to continually be grateful for the good *presently* in my life. Then I can appreciate the infinite good that will continually flow to me, and will be able to keep letting it flow through me :)

I made a list of three things to stay mentally centered in: Peace, Gratitude, Prosperity. It very well may be that I should focus on them in that exact order, which makes sense because first I need inner calm before I recognize what I have what I want!

I am very grateful for the fact that my mind has been clearing up, and the worries and concerns are once again sifting themselves away. Surely there is business to attend to, but fretting about things I can't control and especially thinking in "what if" mentality will do me no good, so I am reminded that there are infinite resources out there and at my disposal. Truly, all of my needs are presently met and exceeded!

More good things are on their way :)

Yesterday after church I was invited to a friend's house to dig up a few banana trees to add them to our backyard, yay! Hung out over there for a few hours and got home in time to do the yard work before Ebony had to take a nap (she had to work the graveyard shift last night). After cutting the back and front lawn, I stayed in work mode and hacked away at three spots near the back fence, dug up the earth, set the trees in and covered them with compost, soil and water. They look pretty back there and I hope they survive and bear fruit! Apparently they die off after the fruit comes off, but replacements grow close by. It's gonna rock to have fresh bananas in the yard - bananas = a runner's very good friend :)

Speaking of running! I did my long run (about 5.5 miles) yesterday morning before sunrise, and keeping a slow, steady pace, it went quite well. I added more than I ran the week before, and my body tolerated the additional length really well! My legs didn't feel too tired toward the end (like they did on the last long run) and I honestly wanted to keep going.

The problem? I'm still too stubborn. To put it bluntly, I really should have gone to the bathroom again during the run - I needed to go BADLY, but I kept telling myself to just keep going and maybe stop in Denny's or McDonald's to go on the way back. The whole time I kept thinking that I should go, that I had a paper towel with me, so that wouldn't be the problem.

That's the third damn time I've run when I've had to go (and alas, I had to... well, you know... go #2), and when it happened the FIRST time (which was during my first 5K!), I said I didn't want to stop running and I just wanted to run the whole race. The second time that it happened, I was running around the old apartment compound, and I KNEW I should have just used the damn bathroom.

I made my mind up and decided that if it happens again, I need to JUST GO. Lesson learned! And I realize it would be wise to keep tissues/napkins/TP/paper towels on me, just in case (specifically for outdoor runs).

Doing that to myself was not smart, and I've learned from it and have moved on. My body was NOT happy with me for the first half of the day, and after going through that AGAIN, I now know better. And I also know that if I would have just taken care of it, I would have been able to clock at LEAST another half mile onto my run.

I still ended up losing weight last week (2 pounds, yay!), though my nutrition was a bit embarrassing. Consistency is still a struggle, and while it is understandable that I've got a lot of stress to deal with and ton of uncertainty going on, it's important that I take care of myself first and foremost. Saturday was shamefully bad, and I just kept eating and eating, even after I was satisfied. As soon as I felt I could stomach more, I ate again. I drank some mint tea to soothe my stomach, and once I was feeling well, I ate *again*. True it was fairly nutritious food, but the habit was loathsome and I want to avoid that behavior again.

It's all too familiar with the patterns that made me 114 pounds heavier than I am now.

Luckily I recognized that it was bad (even while I was doing it), so I referred to a source that has helped me in the past - Make the Connection by Bob Greene and Oprah Winfrey. I plowed through the first 50 or so pages (which is good for me! Especially for evening reading) and got through the section "Why We Eat". It was familiar territory and when I recognized it in myself, it inspired me to eat mindfully on Sunday. Yesterday was a good day nutritionally.

I'm learning more about maintaining inner calm, and I'm immensely thankful that I'll have an opportunity to have a consistent schedule very soon. It's going to be wonderful to have a good job again, and even though I know it will have pros and cons, I realize that it's smart to be practical right now while the answers and more opportunities are coming. Again, if I am happy with where I am, I can be grateful for the increasing good that will keep coming.

I've got a set list of things I want to focus my energies on:

* Remain calm and sustain inner peace
* Be grateful
* Stay on top of my marathon training, sleep schedule and weight loss
* Enjoy the present moment and stay focused on what I'm doing at the moment (and not let my mind wander into what else I could be doing)
* Nail the interview and get the job offer!

Since I am a bit behind on my marathon training, and especially considering how well my body feels after last week's program (I ran my 5 days, yay!), I want to intensify my runs this week and hopefully add mileage for Sunday's run.

I just want to run the entire marathon without stopping, and as long as I do that, I'm satisfied. With my pace, I WILL finish before the cutoff time, and since this is my first, I'm really not shooting for a target time (and MUCH respect for those of you who are training for a goal time! That's highly admirable and you are rock stars!). I just want to run it. If there are more in the future for me, I can focus on timing. In the meantime, I'm satisfied if I can keep adjusting to life here, land and keep a job, and run this marathon.

Sending good energy to you all,
K :)
Amazing stop sign!

Gratitudes, running and jobs!

My local minister held a brief meditation course, and there's a great quote she used:

"You can't keep the birds from flying, but you can keep them from building a nest."

You know, between putting a load of energy into maintaining a positive mindset, learning more and more about the power of positive prayer and the law of attraction and living with Pat (who is pretty much akin to a Buddha when it comes to positive thinking), I'm SOOO fortunate to be saturated in such powerful energy.

The way things are progressing is nothing short of amazing, and I'm finding more and more reasons to be grateful to be going through this experience and life in general :)

A few days ago my mind was flying all over the place, so much that I actually became physically ill and couldn't keep anything down. Every now and then it's just too much, and sickness and crying happen.

After I picked myself up and stopped pleading in prayer, I found a notebook and starting writing gratitudes. Instead of just writing "Thank You" on the top and making a list, I wrote each time "Thank You God" and then did the specifics for each.

Thinking about everything I'm fortunate to have (without letting thoughts of lack and limitation dwell and spread) brought me inner peace, though slow at first. And next thing I knew, I had over three pages of gratitudes written out :)

Yesterday started rough again with stomach issues, but after I chilled out for a while and gathered myself, I was eventually able to get myself to dress into my workout clothes. Then, I told myself just to stretch out. I wanted dearly to do a full 4-mile run (following my training program), but told myself just to do the best I can, and if I need to do one mile, two miles, whatever, then so be it.

After stretching, I got out on the road and ran to Peg's house, which is a mile from our house. Then, I doubled back and ran through some subdivisions and felt I could keep going.

4 miles later, I came back to my starting point! I give myself landmarks ("make it to that sign, just run to this next street, go for another minute", etc) and for the last hundred yards or so, I always pick up my pace. For the last ten to twenty yards, I finish in a HARD sprint.

It's that last bit that makes the run go from rewarding to amazing!

My iPod's on it's last legs (3 years of solid, great service to me XD), so I run without headphones, which is probably an immense blessing. It's safer that way, and it enables me to take in my surroundings better. Plus, my mind's free to focus on more gratitudes, which make the runs immensely more bearable :)

I tell ya, it's the *first* twenty minutes that are the hardest. Getting through that is BIG, and always, when I get to the half-way point, I feel great.

When I got back to the house, Pat had come home from work and was hanging out, ready to watch the Giants take on the Redskins :) I asked her about her day, chatted for a bit and told her how crappy I was feeling that day but still made it out there and knocked out a solid run.

She told me she's proud of me, and that makes me feel like a million bucks :) :) :)

I was elated, felt all my right and true energy rush back to me (gotta love endorphins!) and was ready to get to church for Thursday night class. Perfect timing - we're learning about positive prayer!

After I got home, we watched the rest of the game and hung out. I'm so lucky to spend time - and live with! - my best friend, and some of my best moments here are when I just sit and listen to her talk. She's got such a bright light and her energy is contagious. There's no one in the world who doesn't love being around her, and she's a shining example of letting that light shine through ALL, no matter how hard things can get or how much is on one's plate.

It's not the problems that define us, it's maintaining our inner strength and courage that make us who we are. I've had some rough times, but I'm learning more and more every day that I Am capable of getting through this, of living prosperously NOW, and of maintaining the truth that I am NOT my thoughts, but rather the peace and awareness behind them.

I go to sleep giving gratitudes, and I wake up giving gratitudes.

It all adds up...

... I've got a job interview on Tuesday at the university:)

It's going to ROCK to be back in a college setting, and I've got a lot of love for my alma mater :) I've been praying for something to get me through the next few months, as I'll officially become a resident in May and will get a Florida resident's tuition rate, which means in the fall (or possibly as early as summer), I can attend culinary school :) :) :)

After a year working at the university, I can also take free classes! It'll be cool to take classes again, but this time for shits and giggles :P

Once I do the interview and land the job (!! XD !!), hopefully I'll have consistent Internet and will be able to catch up with you all! Miss talking to you and I look forward to hearing about what's up in your lives and sharing in the love ♥

* * * *

Sending lots of love and support to mental_thatone and remuswulf, and hope you guys have somewhere safe to run to if you need to evacuate!

* * *

Sending good energy to you all, and wish me luck getting this job! I'd be working at the university, which means WOOOO gym access! I can work out before going into the office!

Run, Slappy, run!

Marathon training has officially begun!

I've been waking up at 6AM for the past few mornings in preparation for my transition into employed life and marathon training. Keeping a positive mindset and not letting thoughts of fear and/or doubt linger in my mind for long, as they don't do anything to help with creative thinking!

Thankfully, I've been able to wake up and get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off, and for that I've been doing my gratitudes :) Every day, every moment I keep in mind how important it is to be aware of the immense blessings I have, and how fortunate I am to be going through this experience in my life.

Job hunting is in full swing, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I am putting myself out there, looking for a job to hold things together for the time being. Something HUGE and immense is coming my way, but gotta keep practical in the meantime ;)

Additionally, keeping snape_on_plane in thoughts and prayers as the weather in the Southern states experiences another busy season. Sending lots of love to you and hope you get home safely ♥

Learned a lot this summer about planning and maintaining a garden in Florida, specifically on timing. Though the garden didn't quite work out this season (aside from some foliage and herbs), I look forward to starting again sometime in the early winter and get some kind of a greenhouse deal rigged up for early planning :) In the meantime, I've been doing the yard work and making sure that things are in good shape.

Every day brings countless blessings and endless things to be thankful for, and I'm finding that the stronger and more positive I keep myself, I'll be receptive to more and more good things as they come my way. I'm constantly reminding myself to keep the thoughts in the present moment, and to accept things for how they are. It is what it is! Can't go back and change anything, and certainly can't make decisions differently. Things turn out exactly as they should, and all of these experiences teach me to keep being strong, and keep building those mental muscles so that I'm prepared for the next great experience :)

As for the marathon training, I'm finally up to running five days per week (with Monday and Friday off as rest days) and though my strength training gets put aside from time to time (still working on optimizing my time XD), the important thing is my run program is progressing. I may be a bit behind on the marathon training schedule, but I know me and I know come race day, I'll be able to pull it off :)

There will be a legion of people there and a big group of people I know, and being surrounded in that energy will be amazing. I think about the race every single day, and am getting into the kind of mental position to handle the challenge. My body is progressively getting stronger, and I'm getting along with the rest of the weight loss. Again, every day has its blessings, and I'm training myself to see beyond any limitations and find the strength inside to overcome all.

After all, this too shall pass!

Chicago update #7 - Sunday, August 11, 2008... the final day.

Collapse )

Onto postive things!

It felt SOOOO good to write out yesterday's entry, and I'm looking forward to concluding these Chicago updates. The experience lives on through us and through sharing the pictures, the stories and the emotions.

I won't say here (at least for now :P) that I miss you all, because I know we will see each other again, and soon.

In the meantime, enjoy this final Chicago update, and here's hoping that life blesses us equally in ALL areas of our lives!

Collapse )

And, of course, some pictures!

Collapse )

I will always remember the Chicago experience, as honestly, it was a HUGE life highlight. When I say that I've put my entire life on hold for these wonderful experiences this summer, that's no exaggeration. A LOT of careful planning went into making it possible, and, truth be told, I wouldn't have done it any differently if I were to do it again.

No price can be put onto that, not ever. It was remarkable and wonderful, and I learned SO much and realize that there's still more work for me to do. There's no other way to learn these things than by going in with all my heart, and I got everything I wanted and needed, and then some.

It was the best trip of my life, and with that now as the basis for comparison, I look forward eagerly, ready for the next amazing adventure!

Holding you in reverence and love,
Karen ♥
  • Current Music
    "Overture/Going Through The Motions" from Once More With Feeling (Buffy musical)
  • Tags
    , , , , ,

Chicago update #6 - Sunday, August 10, 2008

WHEW, almost done with these Chicago updates! Getting online is still a persistent challenge, but eh. Gotta roll with the punches!

So! This update will include a LOT of things - this really was the biggest, most exhilarating, busiest, craziest and active day I had in Chicago! It started with tattoos, there was A WEDDING!!!!, the best ball of ANY con, and the day ended with happy tears, hugs, Stella Artois, and mmmm really good pizza :)

I've got less than an hour to crank this entry out, so if things get left out, hopefully I'll get to edit them... sometime! :P

Right, so... Sunday! Collapse )

WOW, I think that capped it (for the most part)!

Every time I think about that day and EVERYTHING that happened, between the moments I shared with friends and them giving me their trust, hearing them out on whatever they needed to say at the time, how much we danced, how much I sweat that night (I LOVE dancing my ass off! I ALWAYS dance my butt off at weddings! :P), how generous everyone is and has always been (again, so much thanks to Emily, Erynn, Julie and Steph for lending a HUGE hand!!!), how much it meant to get inked and share that with everyone, taking EPIC Founders pics, witnessing Hope and Jeremy's love grow with each moment, feeling and experiencing the tremendous love and energy pulsating in the wedding room, sharing that with so many wonderful people, dancing with so many well-dressed people, interacting with such awesome folks, hanging out with my team again, celebrating new friends and old, opening my heart and sharing exhilarating moments with great people... I could go on and on and on again until a Patronus flew outta my ears!

Thank you all again for such a great time ♥ ♥ ♥

And here are a LOT of pictures! All the wedding pics are courtesy of Hope ♥

Collapse )

The next Chicago update... the Closing Breakfast, touristy stuff and then... saying goodbye.

I kinda almost don't even want to write it :P


Um... can't get around this one, posting this pic has been problematic.

... is it filtered because of content?


Running toward FOOOOOOD :) Sunshine and happiness!

There's something utterly sublime about working out, hardcore and sweating through every inch of cotton, while watching the Food Network :) I like to visualize, brainstorm and do some meditation as I run, so it's no surprise that food pr0n really gets me through a hard trot!

Today's run was MASSIVE :) I ran my ass off for an hour on the elliptical and did 20 minutes of a 5-part sprint interval session. Yesterday my nutrition was COMPLETELY out of control, and even though I did another hour-long run (gotta get in peak shape for marathon training, as I'm already behind!), it still doesn't make up for how bad I was yesterday.

The good news is that we've been having sunshine again (YAY serotonin, woo!), which is MUCH welcome! Yesterday there were patches of blue sky and about an hour before sunset, we actually had a glimpse of the sun - which meant rainbows, yay!

Thank goodness the mood funk has also cleared up. While this may very well be another DAUNTING challenge (what with no job, completely drying up financially, having a room full of rain-evacuated ants, roaches and spiders proliferated ALL over my room and biting the fuck out of me and other bullshit), I know what I've accomplished and what I'm capable of accomplishing. And even if there's no major job prospects on the line anytime soon, I know I'll survive. If anything, I'm in an ideal position to get my business started... once I get an income, that is :P

Everything's in motion to get me in the right direction. I've been making a few more connections and if anything, this year I've learned that when I just let go, it's okay to let others take care of me. The 2 on-the-side jobs I've had this year were through friends, which is a good sign.

Also, I figured if I'm going to get through this transition and be ready for BIG things, it's time to shed old consciousness. So, true to a lifestyle choice, I took another Fourth Step and did another personal inventory, this time for the things holding me back from prosperity NOW. I've still got to take care of it and burn it, but I put something on the back which is QUITE appropriate, and a good message to send out into the Universe as the inventory list burns.

Pat has this quote posted under her monitor, and it's made of WIN:

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. - Siddhartha Gautama (first Buddha)

Next week officially kicks off marathon training, and even if I'm not totally on par, I know everything will be totally awesome. I want to do the entire marathon running, and as long as I finish, I'm happy. Time doesn't mean much (as long as I do it in the 8 alloted hours!), but most of all, I want to get through it all.

I've got a little over 4 months, I'm mentally prepared for the undertaking, and, biggest of all, I WANT to do this! Every run, every step I know where it's leading me, and that I'm taking care of myself and shedding the rest of this weight so I can let my light shine it's brightest :)

Okie doke, next update will be Chicago Update #6!

Also, if you'd still like to get on Hope and Jeremy's wedding filter, let me know!
  • Current Music
    "Control" by Janet Jackson
  • Tags
Knight 62442 Werewolves champs icon.jpg

Chicago update #5 - Saturday, August 9, 2008

With the upheaval of massive shit that needs to get done, it'd do me a world of good to get these updates knocked out before it 1)Consumes my brain, 2)I forget it all (or what's left to forget) or 3)I just can't be bothered with it.

Going through another rough spat mentally and physically, and the weather's really not helping. My mind's going in a multitude of random directions, so right now I'm asking for harmony, peace and focus. Right now, as much as I'd love to grab an ideal job (the whole reason for moving here and starting over), I might just have to take whatever I can until something great pops up.

Here's hoping for the best!

Okie doke, I really want to get this all knocked out, so sorry if stuff gets left out! Feel free to add if I've forgotten/omitted things.

Also! Before I forget - there are two HUGE things I'm asking for con/picture-wise. Olek took some bad-ass Founders pics for us, so if those are posted anywhere, hook me up please!

Secondly, I've got some of Hope's pics from the wedding, but if anyone else has more, please direct me/link me/share :)

Collapse )

Some quotes from The Book for Saturday:

(Re:Sunscreen) "I got four kids... no skin cancer!" - Tracy

"Cheesecake is my people." - Melody


"I'll take Todd." - me
"Slappy, you are an intrepid woman." - Amy

♥ :) ♥

Another Mary haiku:
Flying shit weasel
flies through the night spreading doom
run from it's shit bath.

WIN :)

And a few pics!

Collapse )

The next update will have our Tattoo outing, last day of group cosplay as The Founders, the Death Eater mask workshop, the wedding, the ball/wedding reception and finishing the night in conversation, great company and happy tears :)