Inane Utterances

LIFE WIN

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:12:34 GMT

Few things!

Um... my life is made of win. Ya know, I've had to get through some fucked up shit to get to this point and there's so much more to overcome, but it's one thing at a time. It's the steps we take and the decisions we make that prepare us for these moments, and it never ceases to amaze me how wonderful my friends are how how great you guys have been to me ♥

But yeah, check it out!

I was just asked if I can go to the BAHAMAS again! In less than a month, I get to go back to the Bahamas, and since I'm the only one on this trip who has been through the event there, I'm in charge. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S INSANE! I'm so excited :) :) :)

OMG Manda and Scott got married this past weekend, so I got to see SO many awesome faces and had the best time. The timing was fantastic, considering how hard things have been losing one of our sisters... again, our friends get us through.

What else... I get free cake today! But gotta take it easy - I'm just getting used to my clothes being loose again :P

Mainly I just wanted to pop on and ~~brag about~~ announce I'm going back to the Bahamas :P

Pics from the wedding are up on my Facebook! Will add them to Manda and Scott's flickr soon!

Mi piace il clase d'italiano!

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:29:58 GMT

I freaking love my Italian class :)

(I'm taking Italian because I'm going to go backpacking through Italy on a cooking excursion... one day!)

Last night we practiced translating sentences from English to Italian, and we had to pick a sentence, go up to the board, and just like in grade school, write it with the messy chalk (try doing that in a pinstripe suit!) and await the teacher's correction.

My contention was that it's worth the momentary embarrassment of being corrected for the sake of getting all the right answers, with spelling and grammar and such.

Anyway, one of the women in the class got up after most of us were done, and just before she was done, there was a tad murmuring and some giggling. None of us thought anything of it, just passed it off as side conversations and such.

So once she sat down, we talked a bit - her birthday is October 25th so we were talking about how awesome October birthday people are :P

She mentioned that she's turning 21, and though it sucks she has to work that day, she's got that Saturday off (Halloween!) and she said she's going to, and I quote directly, "party (her) ass off."

THEN the lady in front of her - a professional, small-business owner in her 40's - said, "and might I add, what a great ass it is."

FOLLOWED by the gigglers in the front who said, "we were JUST talking about that!"

and I slowly raised my hand and said, "THIRDED!"

Then the whole class is cracking up, and the teacher (who had left to make some copies) comes back in and asked what all the laughter was over. So once I explained the story to her, she said to her (the one with the mighty fine ass), "Go party your lucky ass off!"

And that was it. The class had lost all track of thought and we called it a day :P

So when I say, "mi piace il clase d'italiano", I really DO like my Italian class!

Though I am a bit behind... no pun intended :P

fuck. closets.

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:58:24 GMT

It's National Coming Out Day! If you haven't done so already, hug a homosexual or bisexual today. If you're either, hug your lover or go get one :)

I've been very open about this over the past few months, but for anyone who doesn't know (or experienced for his or herself) I am bisexual.

Words can't explain how huge a relief it has been for me to finally embrace the other side of me. I've been like a 16-year old, catching up on lost time. It's been an amazing experience that has changed my life for the better, and I'm so grateful for the love and support people have given me since I've finally opened up about it.

On an unrelated side note, there was a good bump out there in the ocean today, so I got my surf on! Plus, I'm working on a KICK-ASS tan - I look gooooood ;)

Have an awesome rest of the weekend!

::EDIT::

LMFAO for anyone who hasn't seen...

Sparky and I posted youtube videos of ourselves on helium!

His

and mine :)

few quick things...

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:56:24 GMT

In a few hours, I'll be officially another day, another year, another decade older.

People talk about how we receive these profound insights over our lives, most specifically that we are more receptive to them in our 30's.

I've done enough catching up over the past couple months to make up for the hullabaloo that is our 20's, and I look forward to the next 30 (or more) years.

The past week has been particularly trying, but once again I realize that the foundation for all blessings is realizing what we *already* have, and that I already AM everything I want to be.

A few things came to mind.

1) I had a sex filter going for like, a minute. And now there's no need for it, so it and the specified entries are gone. I kept it for a little bit because I thought I'd need a place to put it and where I wouldn't forget, but I realize that I *don't* forget and don't need to broadcast it.

2) Musicals really, REALLY cheer me up :P I'm watching Mama Mia!

3) I can surf! I mean, I'm giving it my best shot and I'm actually doing it! YAY!

4) Joy and tragedy are two causes for reunion, and I love my friends in good times and in bad. I love with all my heart because it's just what I do. There's nothing wrong with it, and I know it can be much. But, it's me. I've never done anything half-assed, and there's no "wasting" something I've got a clear abundance of.

So, I'm going to spend the night hanging out and just enjoying my own company. I had intentions to go do more on the last day of my 20's, but if I'm supposed to be all "comfy with myself", what better way to celebrate than by watching Mama Mia! with the sing-along on and chomping on a Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty?

Okay 30's - here I come!

I can haz a happy with that cheezburger

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:31:05 GMT

I've noticed a few things that are very slight changes in me, and it's definitely attributed to the fact that I'm really happy here.

Life has been so good to me; I'm immensely blessed. I live in a beautiful place, I've lived with two of my best friends, and I *LOVE* my job. I feel like what I'm going through now is the complete antithesis of my life in Dallas.

When I graduated college, I remember saying that I wanted to work and get a lot of life experience, and kinda let Higher Power guide me. That's exactly what happened - I took an ass-kicking for years at a job I was excellent at but was draining my soul, but in the process, I learned a lot about stress management, multitasking, and developed an excellent skill set.

It's amazing how life transpires and all these crazy things happen... and then it feels like everything turns up in the right place, as it should.

Sparky and I watched "P.S. I Love You", and the only time I cried was at the end during a very sappy, happy moment. I realized that I only cry now when I'm happy (for other people - fictional or not, for myself, for people I love, etc), and though I do get a bit upset/angry/afraid, it goes away after a bit.

Sometimes I think about what my life was like when I first started this LJ, and how frequently I would bitch about how things were. In all truth, I was convinced that I deserved it; I had created that reality.

After I took a HUGE bound and quit that job and changed my life, things did get immensely challenging, but the risk paid off. It paid off HUGE.

These things all happen in good time. A friend of mine in Dallas helped me realize that God is infinite and He does things on His time. It was frustrating to hear - after all, I was injured, broke, unemployed, living with the grief of losing someone I love, and going through SO much change - but it sunk in. Especially in hindsight. Of *course* in hindsight!

Today I got to spend the day with Sparky, who is absolutely one of my best friends (we also had a discussion regarding best friends - there isn't really a TOP DOG bestie the way we see it. We all have people we know, acquaintances, friends, and best friends. We don't have to choose!), and tomorrow I get to hang out with Pat and her family.

After I go on a date tomorrow morning, mwuahaha :) AND! Another one on Monday!

I think about the promise I made to myself, that even though I gained weight, I'm still the same person. I've earned my way through the blessings in my life, and I deserve something great.

Once I finally let that idea sink it, I let the universe know that I Am anything I want to be.

I Am sexy. I Am smart. I Am attracting the right things for me right now. I Am definitely the Queen of WIN :)

We all deserve to be happy. And though our personal happiness is relative, the idea that we are allowed to have it is, in my mind, Universal law.

Go, my awesome friends! Go, and find your happiness :)

I hope you have an amazing Memorial Day weekend, and see you on the next leg of this journey!

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:46:33 GMT

LMFAO

"So, uh, Dick Cheney wrote a memoir. What do you think might happen if we pierce it with the fang of a basilisk?" - pdx42

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:54:12 GMT

Doing well today. Had a long come-to-Jesus chat with Sparky last night and ironed lots of stuff out. For now, he plans on staying with me and I'm happy to have him. We really needed to talk, and, being a woman with emotions and Aunt Flo around, I had to be all emotional and get over it.

Better things ahead :)

In other news, I'm re-addicted to Gauntlet:Legends for N64!

I really just needed an excuse to use this icon again

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:17:02 GMT

So... HAI.

It's been a while and I've let a lot of my paid features go by the wayside. TBH, I just haven't had a lot of time online, and Facebook and Twitter work fantastically for my short attention span.

But, I'm still around here from time to time, especially for moments like these.

Not much has changed with me, still the same idealistic, tries-to-hard-to-help-others at my own expense, impulsive self. Same cycles - love, burn, move on. And put on more weight, but if there's one thing I know, it's that each bullshit moment is temporary.

Things at work are awesome; I really dig my job and I'm happy living on the river and totally stoked to be in Daytona.

Sparky temporarily moved in with me in June and told me Sunday that he's moving closer to Orlando. Was really pissed off about that, but then I remembered the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Which means if someone's going to be the same old flaky dumbass, there's nothing I can do about it - or rather, I shouldn't even bother trying to change it.

On the other hand, I have my own healing to do, and I'm doing my best to let go of others' issues and focusing on myself.

Hope things are good with you all. Hope people still use LJ.

Random LOL picture

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:08:04 GMT

This picture randomly cracked me up - check out the guy in the background :)

Extra points to anyone who can give it a winning macro caption!

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 23:50:54 GMT

Looking forward to a prosperous, peaceful and immensely positive New Year, and wishing the very best to you and your loved ones :)

If you're going out tomorrow night, please be careful out there and be safe! I'll be in Orlando partying the rest of this year out and getting ready to have a great New Year! 2009 is going to be amazing... it's just gotta be.

Reminder - you are welcome (and encouraged!) to add anything to the Burning Bowl post. I'm going to print it off tomorrow and do a proper ceremony :)

My love to you ♥
- K

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 20:35:38 GMT

This morning I had the pleasure and honor to run the Run To The Sun annual race, benefiting Camp Boggy Creek!

It was a gorgeous day to run, filled with the great company - families, runners, and some of the camp kids - lots of smiles and FOOD, YAY! Gotta love free food at races :)

We started out on a side street and ran up to the big bridge over the river, and thank goodness the race *started* with the biggie and didn't end with it. Suffice to say, it was an excellent workout! It was 4 miles and we went over 2 bridges, and I was VERY happy that I didn't finish last :P I tend to go into races thinking I'd be the last jogger, and of course that's never the case.

There are several things that make me immensely grateful today:

I Am still capable of running 4 miles
... and shaved 4 minutes off of my 4 mile run! A RUN WITH BRIDGES!

The breathtaking view over the bridge as we crossed the river made the moment unforgettable. Whenever we drive over the bridge, Pat always takes a deep breath and says how happy and thankful she is to be living here in such beauty, and she's absolutely right.

I have sneakers, running clothes, two good running bras and a nifty pair of running socks that made the run as enjoyable as it was.

That the run was enjoyable! Running can be and still is a challenge, but I always knock it out and feel great when I'm done.

That I live here to do an outdoor run at the end of November in a t-shirt and comfy pants and not freeze my nipples off.

That although I'd love to run to music (or have a functioning music player for that matter), I can still knock it out by thinking about good things, why I'm doing this, and Who is ultimately behind my wheel. I Am so grateful to the Most High for being with me always.

Yesterday I had the blessed opportunity to volunteer all day feeding homeless people, prepping lunch and dinner and feeding a few hundred people and their families. It's a great experience in gaining perspective on life and (especially at this time of year) realizing how good we have it, and where we all fit in the grand scheme of things.

One of the other vulunteers and I talked for a while about the people we serve and how it's not just about making mistakes and fucking up with drugs or whatever - hey, *LIFE* happens, and shit happens out of our control and some people just get it worse than others.

A few days ago, I was working with a co-worker distrubuting materials about the college's adult education programs (GED, English as a Second Language, etc) to some of the homes and services that help people getting out of a rough situation - prison, drugs, abuse, etc. - and again, I'm so fortunate to have an opportunity to contribute to something.

I enjoy my job, I work with good people, it's a good environment, my skills and abilities are being utilized and when I heard how many *hundreds* of applicants there were, I was brought right back to where I needed to be in consciousness.

There's always something to be grateful for!

And though, like the 6 billion people I share this experience with, I have my own issues, I know and feel the Truth when I'm receptive.

I'd like to keep working on maintaining perspective, staying focued, minimizing excessiveness (in EVERY facet of my life) and moving forward.

But most of all, I'd like to continually remember that money is ultimately infinite, moving from one hand to the next and on and on. It certainly isn't the answer to all of life's problems and is not the way to happiness.

... granted, it'd be nice to have a butt-load of it, though ;)

The holidays are approaching, and you deserve all the good that this world has to offer! Hope you are enjoying the season ♥

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 19:49:39 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Wishing you all the very best and happiest day to share with those you care about :) Hope you get to eat lots of fantastic food, get to relax a bit and...

... GO COWBOYS! :P

I am immensely blessed and highly grateful to have every one of you in this life with me. You make the world a shinier, more love-filled place, and I am fortunate beyond measure to know you.

All my love and best wishes to you ♥

Thinking prosperous thoughts

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:56:18 GMT

I hope this update finds you all healthy, happy and well!

Things are going well, been working long hours in the office to try to absorb as much as I can in this new job. I typically get in a little after 7am and stay until 6pm or so, either working directly with students or studying my notes. I've got a notebook full of notes that I've typed up, and I keep them updated regularly. I finally got to sort them out into categories, but there's still more and more to learn! My co-workers remind me that it takes months to master the material, but I already feel a bit behind, so I'm doing my best to catch up.

So much to learn!

With a new job, new schedule and tons of change, it's easy to fall into old habits and get stuck mentally, physically and nutritionally. I try to get out of bed and out of the door before 6:15 so I can work out and get to the office early, and some days I'm successful. Still working on building that habit to make it more permanent.

There are some days I get dragged down and think WAY too far ahead, letting concern temporarily disrupt my perspective. But then again I'm reminded that life is dynamic and ever-changing, and if I can find this great opportunity in this state and this town, then I Am capable of bringing more and more great things into my life. Things got pretty scary for me and by Grace I got through it, just as it has always been. I've been blessed and fortunate to always have enough to get by, so now I want to shift gears and prepare myself mentally for bounty, increased prosperity and infinite good - and for it to come now! :)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Okie, that's all for an update for now - I've got a question for you all :)

I'd LOVE to hear your response, and feel free to go into as little or as much detail as you please! Here goes:

If ONE MILLION DOLLARS came into your life TODAY (free and clear, brought to you through ethical means with NO strings attached), what would you do with the money, and what would you do with your life?

I can't wait to read your responses :) :) :)

WE'VE GOT OUR COUNTRY BACK :)

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:57:21 GMT

::HUGE hug to everyone to Flist::

::HUGE hug to everyone - EVERYONE who voted::

::ENORMOUS HUGE HUG to any and everyone who has ever believed in anything and witnessed the miracle of possibilities::

So much love to all ♥

AND!

PARTY AT aurora_z's!

Yay good work!

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 18:48:26 GMT

Weekends are a great opportunity to slack off and wear whatever I want to, and since I'm using up all my good clothes during the week for work, I love wearing goodies when I can :) Today's a good day to wear my Dumbledore t-shirt :)

I'm at the library and goofing around on the computer, woo! I'm still waiting for access at work, which I'll get Tuesday afternoon. In the meantime, I've enjoyed shadowing my co-workers and learning as much as I can about my job and the different functions I'll be doing. I've literally had to learn 3 different roles, since I'll be interchangeable and gotta be cross trained. My official training starts on Thursday, but I want to be as prepared as humanly possible.

I've been working long days, which means by the time I get home, I'm not feeling particularly inclined to study. But, I get some in here and there and every little bit helps.

So far things are going well, and I'm VERY fortunate and blessed to be in a positive work environment and work with good people. Everyone's been helpful, friendly and informative and I look forward to getting *REALLY* good at the job and doing whatever and everything I can to assist our students in succeeding.

It's a wonderful opportunity and I've been given a chance to network and get to know a load of people on campus. I've been studying a list of everyone I've met along with my work-related study notes, and luckily it's sinking in. Remembering people has a HUGE impact - people love when you remember their names and something about them!

And the good word tends to make it's way to the boss's ears :)

Every now and then I catch myself having to hold back happy tears, because when I think of how TRULY amazing this all happened, it overwhelms me. To think of the change in consciousness that has happened in the past month, to think of what I was ready to do and how I was bracing myself... I'm SOOOO thankful that I don't have to worry about that.

My boss and I met with two of our provosts (from 2 of our campuses) and were talking about budget cuts and stuff, and my boss turned around and said to me that I don't have to worry, that my job is an essential position and though there's a hiring freeze, my spot NEEDED to get filled. Later that night after the open house, she pulled me aside and thanked me for the initiatives I've been taking and gave me good feedback so far about my job performance. She'd like me to be a bit more direct with our prospective students (ie: Instead of saying "please fill this out", tell them, "The next step is to fill this out"). It'll be a great chance to work on my assertiveness which, to be honest, has taken a hit over the past few months so I'm glad I've got the chance to strengthen these skills.

Luckily I was able to get in two workouts this week, which beats last week's efforts. I decided to let go this week and forgive myself for bad nutritional decisions and just splurge. It's not the greatest decision, but I remember that the week before I quit smoking and quit gaining weight, I just had it out and became successful.

Things were icky after I quit marathon training and even ickier after I started at Taco Bell, and I'm reminded that often in life, we go through cycles and sometimes progress by taking two steps forward and one step back. It's also reminded me that though I developed good habits, there's still something inside of me that needs to continually be kept in check. The girl can lose the weight, but she's still the same person fundamentally and she's still got the same thoughts and tendencies. The difference is how she deals with them and the different coping mechanisms she employs.

It's been a challenging year for all of us, and I'm no exception. I recognize that I did the best I could, and thank God I've got my friends who carried me through it. Never in my life had I felt so helpless, and now that I'm up and functioning again (and with some better habits, and some that need strengthening), I've got a fantastic opportunity to get this fresh start progressing. There's still a LOT I want to do, but right now focusing on kicking ass at my new job and eating normally would make me *very* happy.

I Am SOOOO happy and grateful that I'm living here and that this job found it's way to me. It's just bizarre when I think about how it came to me - that I *randomly* filled out the job application online at the library one day, how I felt I BOMBED the first interview (and, that same day, went into McDonald's - who were too busy to interview me! - and Taco Bell looking for work - NO LIE.), kept praying for a good job to come my way, how I got the follow-up call and second interview, how they started me WAY early and how the offer came my way PLUS how quickly they took me on... mind-boggling.

So I must be doing something right! :P

voldiebeth - I got your message about The Crystal Ball and gave it some serious thought. Since I won't be running the marathon that weekend - and also since I'm on vacation from work, YAY!!!!! - I thought I might come up there.

However, I want to see hak42, praetorianguard, and all you rock stars running the Disney Marathon - especially since I gave my word that I'll be there :P

I can't wait to see you all and cheer you on as you run your asses off! Hope to join you in a race soon :)

...speaking of which, anyone know how I can cancel my registration?

Also - lord__voldemort! Are ya gonna swing by and visit us that weekend?

Okie doke, gotta log off the computer and head out! It's Biketoberfest here, so there's a lot going on in town - certainly makes things interesting :)

Hugs to you guys ♥

There is always hope

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 23:18:31 GMT

This week I found a great piece of advice: Truth is greater than facts.

It's hard, y'all. This is a difficult time for all of us, for our country and for our world. I keep that in perspective, and while I know that there's the perfect job at the perfect pay available to me right now, this week I fell back into self-destructive habits. Luckily I did most of my workouts, but my nutrition hasn't been too great, and today it was horrid.

I'm trying to learn more and more about moving forward through this time, and I know that there are some changes that have to happen in consciousness. There are some habits I need to work on.

But also, I learned that instead of joking about having Attention Deficit Disorder, I really want to work on living with it and working through it (especially without medication).

I started doing a Personal Inventory journal - entries where I'd hold myself accountable for the things I noticed I was doing and what I should do to catch myself on when it's A.D.D. related. But since it's a new habit, I got into it at first and then it kinda got pushed aside.

It's interesting how I'm getting less done than I did when I was slap-ass crazy, buried neck-deep and working my ass off. Like the saying goes - if you want something done, give it to a busy person.

Last week I had two excellent job interviews and I applied for another job at the university, in an office I worked in while I attended. Again, gotta be practical - there's a LOT of catching up that I've got to do, and dammit at this point I need to work.

If offered, I may accept a job that ... hell I might not even be able to talk about it yet. It could be a great possibility that could open many doors... gotta be open-minded.

Also, the garden was too much for me. My basil's still thriving and the mint's doing okay, but I wasn't able to keep up with it and it's out of control. I had to mow over 75% of it today.

Again, A.D.D. I got head-over-heels into something and then can't keep up with it.

I just pray to God that I'll be able to hold onto my car and keep the cats. Pat and I talked about "what-if" stuff (like what happens if I can't catch up on my rent, keep my car, feed myself, etc) - of course, the last-resort type thinking that is the product of being afraid - and she, in true fashion, was supportive and kind. I got a HUGE-ass thing of dry cat food for a great deal and some more wet food, so that should hold us down for a bit. If I have to use dirt in the litterbox for a bit until I have an income, than so be it. I want to keep them; they're my angels.

I want to be positive and stay optimistic, but it's been MONTHS since I've worked and it's a bitch getting myself motivated to work out, stay positive AND keep my mind focused, calm and peaceful.

However, I'm at a friend's house visiting with her lovely elderly mom, who has alzheimer's. She's in pretty good mental shape and can get herself around and entertained, and she's wonderful company. We've been chatting, doing some artwork and just keeping each other company. It's a great way to keep my mind from becoming a clusterfuck. I stayed here last night and will be here again tonight, and pray I get on her treadmill and hammer out my scheduled 8-mile run. Hey, if I do, WOOO HOO!!!! And if not, I'll get my ass on there and get as far as I can.

It's interesting - when I get running, I have been pushing myself because if I'm going my usual pace, I get bored. So, I run, I pray, and I push myself just a little bit harder than I normally would. BUT! Only on my short runs. I wouldn't dare do this on my long runs.

You know, I'll just go ahead and admit it. I've done a few drugs and I've been drunk. Drugs are no longer part of my life and I don't drink excessively anymore. As fun as those experiences were and as great as they may have felt, nothing beats a runner's high.

Nothing.

* * *

In other news, I had a dream I was in Australia visiting jolly_oddness and we had a party! We were dancing, doing some cool crafty stuff and I think I did all of the cooking, which of course made me happy :)

Right, now I'm going to make the trip back to the house to get my camera cable so I can get my pics from my camera to the computer and print them off. We're making cards for Pat, Peg and Jackie :) We took some cute pictures and will put some artwork in the cards - they're "we missed you and glad you're home" cards, awe :)

Everything's gonna be okay. I know that.

There's ALWAYS hope.

Always.

Wishing for a complaint-free lifestyle!

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 23:03:32 GMT

Yesterday in church, our minister handed out bracelets from A Compaint Free World.org, and the idea is to wear it on one wrist for 21 consecutive days until a complaint-free habit is established. If we find ourselves complaining, we're supposed to switch the bracelet to the other wrist :P

It reminds me of something I read in In The Flow of Life by Eric Butterworth. He mentioned that a minister asked for a ring with a statement that he could refer to in all times, and that the statement be brief.

That statement is popular, and it has been referred to in several other books I've read and taken bits of to become part of my pattern of thinking.

The statement is "This too shall pass"

So, this bracelet is akin to that ring, to the engraving on the emerald tablet and to the idea. All things are temporary, except for the idea of creation and that creative thinking - infused with hope and faith - which empowers us to transcend any and all things.

It's another idea that is simple, yet perhaps not necessarily easy. But it is truth, and there's no good in losing hope.

I thought about how human beings are the *ONLY* species intelligent enough to give up. Every other living thing has a survival instinct, and isn't equipped to complain when things are difficult (except for cats maybe :P).

Yesterday morning I did my long run - an entire 6 miles. I've been sorta dreading this run for quite some time, and though I've been building up my endurance, I doubted if I could actually do it.

The run started a bit more difficult than most. I was carrying doubts of my ability to finish, and I kept rationalizing that I was feeling weak in spirit. Plus, even though I did a warm-up run and went to the bathroom before I started, I had to go again about a mile into the run. Thank God there is a wonderful little cafe on the road I ran down and they were kind enough to let me in. I want to grab breakfast in there when I can swing it.

I kept reminding myself to just take it one step at a time. Get to the nearest landmark and see if I can keep going. It was hard, and the sun was already up, which meant I was sweating like hell and wearing down.

But I did it. After months of wondering whether or not I'm capable of a 6-mile run, the question is answered and of course, the response is YES.

YES I CAN!

Every day I have to find the strength to get through, and it's there. I'm so grateful for the conditioning and the environment I'm in, and it's going to pay off.

Okay I'm about to get booted off the computer at the library, but I wanted to add a quick note.

The past year has been... it's been what it's been.

But I want to apologize to you, because I can be a better friend and I want to. I'm sorry I've been a bit self-involved, and I hope to work on it with you.

As always, I am sending my love ♥

Questions meme! Confused the hell out of me at first....

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:32:18 GMT

Curiosity got me baited on this one... apologies in advance, y'all :P

Meme questions!
from notmonica

1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits the question.
3. Answer one question with one name.
4. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme. If you want to know, comment and I will send the questions to you but then you have to do the meme too.

1)aurora_z, and for good reason!
2)siyamau ♥
3) Ya know? Honestly, me. Always have felt that way :)
4)firegypsy - her place is the headquarters!
5)hapykhiken :)
6)generalmanda, and good ones! ♥
7)caseadillas, understandably!
8)freesnowcone, HANDS DOWN :)
9)notmonica - and your answer to this one, too :)
10)sidhemeabh for sure! Much respect, babe ♥
11)esme55 ♥
12)voldiebeth, always has been, always will be; from the inside and on the outside ♥
13)stupid_drawings should be!
14)raasalhayya
15)novan - I'd pay money to see it!
16)brittlepoetry :)
17)thorto! Kindred, baby!
18)mental_thatone :)
19)crabnebula78, and I can't wait to hear all about it :)
20)rivendellelf23 STRONG rock star!
21)tapestrymlp ♥ ♥ ♥
22)Googled like hell and couldn't find what this means.
23)hak42, especially at this stage in our journeys :)
24)tatiana422 ;)
25)bulletslc effortlessly :)
26)dramaquinn, mwuahaha :)
27)rvnclawgirl ♥
28)zas!
29)mithfalas fo' sho ♥
30) These answers should hopefully reflect that I admire, appreciate and respect you :) Thank you for enriching my life with your presence, and I'm gifted and blessed to know you ♥

Daily reminders

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 17:26:47 GMT

Every day I wake up and give gratitude for another day and opportunities, and I say surrender prayers to let go and let higher consciousness take over the temporary thoughts of small mind.

Every day it takes a little something extra to get moving, and though I spent an extra hour in bed (granted my alarm time was off, but I *did* naturally wake at 6AM), I got up before I had to and got my daily routine going. First thing's first - clean up the cat's area, feed them, give them some love and get my breakfast prepared (I eat breakfast before running at the university, but on weekends I'll have a quick snack before hitting the road. This is another habit I'd like to possibly standardize, but for now I'm happy that I'm getting my ass moving when I get out of bed).

I remind myself and give gratitude for the blessings I have now, especially that I'm living in a home with two wonderful roommates, that I still have my car, that I have food to eat and that all of my needs are met and exceeded. There are more things that I *want*, but being thankful for what I already have is of major importance now.

I've been having some weird dreams which seem indistinguishable from reality. The colors, the tone, the subject... it's more stuff my mind wants closure to. Strangely enough, it's not anything immediately pressing, but it's rooted in love and letting go.

Thankfully immediately after that one I dreamed that I got the job I interviewed for on Tuesday, so that made me feel great! My mind's ready for the work, now we just gotta wait for the offer! It's coming :)

As for running and conditioning, I cranked out a 4-mile run today at the gym. My iPod is so dead it won't even take a charge, so thank goodness I'm past needing pounding music in my ears to get through a run (I needed it SO badly when I started and when I had to start up again after I moved back here). So I plug my ear buds into the deal on the treadmill and watch/listen to cooking shows :P

Though each run is challenging (still learning to enjoy them), it's a good practice in visualizing and keeping faith in myself. The end of the run is always euphoric, and it reminds me that it's just as important to be thankful, happy and positive in good times as it is in the harder ones (...like before runs!).

My nutrition was good yesterday, which made up for the REALLY bad decisions I made the day before. I keep finding myself going out of control when I have a small indulgence, and it's a reminder that I'm not at the same point I was when I was losing 2 pounds per week consistently. I can't go under calories after a bad day, I just gotta stick to my program, leave the bad days in the past and let it fucking GO. So again, I'm re-learning that if I can say no to temptations ONCE, I can say no to them the rest of the day.

It's still important to have indulgences every now and then, but for my personality type, I should have a designated day once a week, and to be mindful about what I'm eating.

When this first started, I wanted to work on building better mental habits (after all, it starts in mind first!) to strengthen my resolve for this massive life change. Thank God I have kept off the 100 pounds I lost and lost more on top of that, but now is about finishing what I started and maintain this for the rest of my life. And even if I'm going through a huge transition accompanied by doubt, depression, anxiety, stomach bullshit, I can still take care of myself and allow good to shine through more and more each day.

The light shines in the darkness, even more so in the pitch black. I was outside one night in the garden (which will be bountiful next year!) and I realized how brilliantly the stars shine against the black sky, especially just before sunrise. I love getting up before the sun and meeting the day before it does :) When I run outside on the weekends, I head east first so I can watch the sun come up and greet me and the tree frogs, lizards and bugs that are awake and active with me. It's a great experience in being One with everything, always, all the time.

There are a few daily practices I'm using to keep the blues from overtaking my mind. Again, the thoughts cross my mind (and are persistent) and though I can't necessarily stop them from floating around, I can stop them from spreading, overwhelming me and making me forget who I really Am and what I Am capable of (and what I've already accomplished).

First of all, I give gratitude. It's so important to keep things in perspective - after all, I have a home, I Am fed, I Am loved, I Am physically strong, I Am smart, I Am free, I live in a beautiful place with great people, I have transportation and I have an education. There are a vast multitude of additional things as well!

Secondly, I've been reminding myself how important it is to keep faith in myself, to love and accept myself, and to take credit for my accomplishments. It's my feet hitting the ground (or treadmill) each run, it's me putting the right food in my body, it's me doing the prayer work and smiling. I look in the mirror and say, "I love you. I accept you unconditionally. I am proud of you."

Being mindful of inner peace helps as well. By "remembering to remember", I can stop the spread of "what if" thinking and immerse myself in the present moment.

How awesome - I'm listening to Pandora and I created an India Arie station, and this great song just came on :)

"There's Hope" by India Aire

[Verse 1:]
Back when I had a little
I thought that I needed a lot
A little was over rated,
but a lot was a little too complicated
You see-Zero didn't satisfy me
A million didn't make me happy
That's when I learned a lesson
That it's all about your perception
Hey-are you a pauper or a superstar
So you act, so you feel, so you are
It ain't about the size of your car
It's about the size of the faith in your heart

[Chorus:]
There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that
[repeat]

There's hope

[Verse 2:]
Off in the back country of Brazil
A met a young brother that made me feel
That I could accomplish anything.
You see just like me he wanted to sing
He had no windows and no doors
He lived a simple life and was extremely poor
On top of all of that he had no eye sight,
but that didn't keep him from seein' the light
He said, what's it like in the USA,
and all I did was complain
He said-livin' here is paradise
He taught me paradise is in your mind
You know that

There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that

[Bridge:]
Every time I turn on the T.V. (There's Hope)
Somebody's acting crazy (There's Hope)
If you let it, it will drive you crazy (There's Hope)
but I'm takin' back my power today (There's Hope)
Gas prices they just keep on rising (There's Hope)
The government they keep on lying
but we gotta keep on surviving
Keep living our truth and do the best we can do

There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that

Stand up for your rights [echo]
Keep shining your light [echo]
And show the world your smile [echo]

There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that

After I run I always feel amazing. I feel full of hope, joy, gratitude and positive energy. I know the feeling is genuine, and though it is marvelous, I also know that it will eventually wear off, thanks to life's continual stimulation. Until I reach full and perfect enlightenment, I will always be human and have human thoughts and reactions.

However, I know ultimate truth, and I know there's still so much more to do in this life, and it's lived one day at a time, one moment at a time.

I think about other people I know and admire, and what would they do or say if I asked them how they get through their day.

I think of amazing mothers like tapestrymlp and notmonica, who are two of the strongest, positive, loving, adaptive and intelligent people I know.

I think of my friend Cassia at church, who came to this country pregnant and fought every day to stay in the U.S., be with her husband and stay strong in her faith.

I think of generalmanda and how powerfully dense that woman is in awesome! She plows through SO much and makes it look easy (and we all know it's NOT) and has such a great way with people.

I think of Peg, Rob, my uncle Richie and everyone I know and admire for their fight and victories over cancer, and how lucky the world is to have such strong survivors.

I think of Winston Churchill, Sojourner Truth, Martin Luther King, Mohandas Ghandi, Jesus, the apostles and Paul, and the extra efforts they continually put in, their resolve, their timeless contributions and the amount of love and hope they gave us all.

I think of my grandfather who fought every day of his life to make things better for everyone he loved. I think how, despite everything, he had the power to love and let love into his life. I think about how hard he worked so his family could prosper. Selflessly, in his last moments, he waited for all of us to let him go, and didn't go until several of us told him that it was okay.

I'm so happy and thankful that infinite blessings and amazing people have shared their lives, stories and dreams with me, and I want to go as far as my skills, abilities and attitude will take me. And when I can't flap my wings, I feel lifted by the love and good fortune I've had in this life, and it picks me up and gets me moving.

Thank you all for being part of this life and experience with me, and may our present and futures be as marvelous as we are :) ♥

Job, running, focus!

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:37:44 GMT

I prepared myself with index cards and practiced interviewing for a few hours on Sunday and Monday, brushing up on skills that haven't been used in years and years! Thankfully I actually *like* the interview process, and putting in the effort felt good.

Anywho, I did a good, solid 3-mile run today (though I wanted to do 4, but time was running short) and pushed myself harder and harder as the run progressed. I'm still running a steady pace, and I think if I keep pushing myself harder on these short runs, it will pay off for the long runs. Conditioning, baby!

Then I showered and got dressed. Mentally prepped myself in the locker room as I unloaded the shit I didn't need and grabbed my purse and professional folder to take with me.

When I got to the office, I immediately met up with a woman I knew when I worked on campus from back in the day :P She hadn't seen me since I've lost weight, and it was great to catch up with her - and it's always fun getting the reactions from people who I haven't seen in a while :)

After I chatted with her, more and more people I knew came out and it really made me feel comfortable and relaxed. The energy was good, and when I was introduced to the main interviewer, I was ready!

I interviewed with the two women I'd be working directly with, the department head and another leader. They were all very welcoming and warm, and I feel it went really well. When I asked what are the characteristics of their most successful employees, they reiterated some traits they recognized in me :)

I should hear back within a week, and the position is immediately available. It's my hope that I get the spot - it's an interesting job and I've got the education and background for the work, and it'd be a good opportunity for me.

It'll be great to work with people who are positive and composed, and it's a chance to improve on things I could work on while I keep moving forward in this life. Also, hopefully I'll have an opportunity to catch up and start saving again, which will hold me down and lighten the burden when I go back to school.

We'll see how it goes!

Thanks for the well-wishes - it felt great to know I have support, and when I get down from time to time, that energy lifts me up and enables me to realize who I *really* am, and that challenges are just temporary.

... I'm actually wearing a dress today! It threw a few people off :P

Focused, alert, driven

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:25:53 GMT

Interview tomorrow at 9AM, woo hoo! I've been asking people to pray for me, and I know that the interview will go well. I've been practicing! I'm looking forward to the opportunity, and I know working at the university will be a positive experience.

Right now I'm focusing my energies on maintaining inner peace and calm. If I am to be receptive to good things, first I want to continually be grateful for the good *presently* in my life. Then I can appreciate the infinite good that will continually flow to me, and will be able to keep letting it flow through me :)

I made a list of three things to stay mentally centered in: Peace, Gratitude, Prosperity. It very well may be that I should focus on them in that exact order, which makes sense because first I need inner calm before I recognize what I have what I want!

I am very grateful for the fact that my mind has been clearing up, and the worries and concerns are once again sifting themselves away. Surely there is business to attend to, but fretting about things I can't control and especially thinking in "what if" mentality will do me no good, so I am reminded that there are infinite resources out there and at my disposal. Truly, all of my needs are presently met and exceeded!

More good things are on their way :)

Yesterday after church I was invited to a friend's house to dig up a few banana trees to add them to our backyard, yay! Hung out over there for a few hours and got home in time to do the yard work before Ebony had to take a nap (she had to work the graveyard shift last night). After cutting the back and front lawn, I stayed in work mode and hacked away at three spots near the back fence, dug up the earth, set the trees in and covered them with compost, soil and water. They look pretty back there and I hope they survive and bear fruit! Apparently they die off after the fruit comes off, but replacements grow close by. It's gonna rock to have fresh bananas in the yard - bananas = a runner's very good friend :)

Speaking of running! I did my long run (about 5.5 miles) yesterday morning before sunrise, and keeping a slow, steady pace, it went quite well. I added more than I ran the week before, and my body tolerated the additional length really well! My legs didn't feel too tired toward the end (like they did on the last long run) and I honestly wanted to keep going.

The problem? I'm still too stubborn. To put it bluntly, I really should have gone to the bathroom again during the run - I needed to go BADLY, but I kept telling myself to just keep going and maybe stop in Denny's or McDonald's to go on the way back. The whole time I kept thinking that I should go, that I had a paper towel with me, so that wouldn't be the problem.

That's the third damn time I've run when I've had to go (and alas, I had to... well, you know... go #2), and when it happened the FIRST time (which was during my first 5K!), I said I didn't want to stop running and I just wanted to run the whole race. The second time that it happened, I was running around the old apartment compound, and I KNEW I should have just used the damn bathroom.

I made my mind up and decided that if it happens again, I need to JUST GO. Lesson learned! And I realize it would be wise to keep tissues/napkins/TP/paper towels on me, just in case (specifically for outdoor runs).

Doing that to myself was not smart, and I've learned from it and have moved on. My body was NOT happy with me for the first half of the day, and after going through that AGAIN, I now know better. And I also know that if I would have just taken care of it, I would have been able to clock at LEAST another half mile onto my run.

I still ended up losing weight last week (2 pounds, yay!), though my nutrition was a bit embarrassing. Consistency is still a struggle, and while it is understandable that I've got a lot of stress to deal with and ton of uncertainty going on, it's important that I take care of myself first and foremost. Saturday was shamefully bad, and I just kept eating and eating, even after I was satisfied. As soon as I felt I could stomach more, I ate again. I drank some mint tea to soothe my stomach, and once I was feeling well, I ate *again*. True it was fairly nutritious food, but the habit was loathsome and I want to avoid that behavior again.

It's all too familiar with the patterns that made me 114 pounds heavier than I am now.

Luckily I recognized that it was bad (even while I was doing it), so I referred to a source that has helped me in the past - Make the Connection by Bob Greene and Oprah Winfrey. I plowed through the first 50 or so pages (which is good for me! Especially for evening reading) and got through the section "Why We Eat". It was familiar territory and when I recognized it in myself, it inspired me to eat mindfully on Sunday. Yesterday was a good day nutritionally.

I'm learning more about maintaining inner calm, and I'm immensely thankful that I'll have an opportunity to have a consistent schedule very soon. It's going to be wonderful to have a good job again, and even though I know it will have pros and cons, I realize that it's smart to be practical right now while the answers and more opportunities are coming. Again, if I am happy with where I am, I can be grateful for the increasing good that will keep coming.

I've got a set list of things I want to focus my energies on:

* Remain calm and sustain inner peace
* Be grateful
* Stay on top of my marathon training, sleep schedule and weight loss
* Enjoy the present moment and stay focused on what I'm doing at the moment (and not let my mind wander into what else I could be doing)
* Nail the interview and get the job offer!

Since I am a bit behind on my marathon training, and especially considering how well my body feels after last week's program (I ran my 5 days, yay!), I want to intensify my runs this week and hopefully add mileage for Sunday's run.

I just want to run the entire marathon without stopping, and as long as I do that, I'm satisfied. With my pace, I WILL finish before the cutoff time, and since this is my first, I'm really not shooting for a target time (and MUCH respect for those of you who are training for a goal time! That's highly admirable and you are rock stars!). I just want to run it. If there are more in the future for me, I can focus on timing. In the meantime, I'm satisfied if I can keep adjusting to life here, land and keep a job, and run this marathon.

Sending good energy to you all,
K :)

Gratitudes, running and jobs!

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:42:11 GMT

My local minister held a brief meditation course, and there's a great quote she used:

"You can't keep the birds from flying, but you can keep them from building a nest."

You know, between putting a load of energy into maintaining a positive mindset, learning more and more about the power of positive prayer and the law of attraction and living with Pat (who is pretty much akin to a Buddha when it comes to positive thinking), I'm SOOO fortunate to be saturated in such powerful energy.

The way things are progressing is nothing short of amazing, and I'm finding more and more reasons to be grateful to be going through this experience and life in general :)

A few days ago my mind was flying all over the place, so much that I actually became physically ill and couldn't keep anything down. Every now and then it's just too much, and sickness and crying happen.

After I picked myself up and stopped pleading in prayer, I found a notebook and starting writing gratitudes. Instead of just writing "Thank You" on the top and making a list, I wrote each time "Thank You God" and then did the specifics for each.

Thinking about everything I'm fortunate to have (without letting thoughts of lack and limitation dwell and spread) brought me inner peace, though slow at first. And next thing I knew, I had over three pages of gratitudes written out :)

Yesterday started rough again with stomach issues, but after I chilled out for a while and gathered myself, I was eventually able to get myself to dress into my workout clothes. Then, I told myself just to stretch out. I wanted dearly to do a full 4-mile run (following my training program), but told myself just to do the best I can, and if I need to do one mile, two miles, whatever, then so be it.

After stretching, I got out on the road and ran to Peg's house, which is a mile from our house. Then, I doubled back and ran through some subdivisions and felt I could keep going.

4 miles later, I came back to my starting point! I give myself landmarks ("make it to that sign, just run to this next street, go for another minute", etc) and for the last hundred yards or so, I always pick up my pace. For the last ten to twenty yards, I finish in a HARD sprint.

It's that last bit that makes the run go from rewarding to amazing!

My iPod's on it's last legs (3 years of solid, great service to me XD), so I run without headphones, which is probably an immense blessing. It's safer that way, and it enables me to take in my surroundings better. Plus, my mind's free to focus on more gratitudes, which make the runs immensely more bearable :)

I tell ya, it's the *first* twenty minutes that are the hardest. Getting through that is BIG, and always, when I get to the half-way point, I feel great.

When I got back to the house, Pat had come home from work and was hanging out, ready to watch the Giants take on the Redskins :) I asked her about her day, chatted for a bit and told her how crappy I was feeling that day but still made it out there and knocked out a solid run.

She told me she's proud of me, and that makes me feel like a million bucks :) :) :)

I was elated, felt all my right and true energy rush back to me (gotta love endorphins!) and was ready to get to church for Thursday night class. Perfect timing - we're learning about positive prayer!

After I got home, we watched the rest of the game and hung out. I'm so lucky to spend time - and live with! - my best friend, and some of my best moments here are when I just sit and listen to her talk. She's got such a bright light and her energy is contagious. There's no one in the world who doesn't love being around her, and she's a shining example of letting that light shine through ALL, no matter how hard things can get or how much is on one's plate.

It's not the problems that define us, it's maintaining our inner strength and courage that make us who we are. I've had some rough times, but I'm learning more and more every day that I Am capable of getting through this, of living prosperously NOW, and of maintaining the truth that I am NOT my thoughts, but rather the peace and awareness behind them.

I go to sleep giving gratitudes, and I wake up giving gratitudes.

It all adds up...

... I've got a job interview on Tuesday at the university:)

It's going to ROCK to be back in a college setting, and I've got a lot of love for my alma mater :) I've been praying for something to get me through the next few months, as I'll officially become a resident in May and will get a Florida resident's tuition rate, which means in the fall (or possibly as early as summer), I can attend culinary school :) :) :)

After a year working at the university, I can also take free classes! It'll be cool to take classes again, but this time for shits and giggles :P

Once I do the interview and land the job (!! XD !!), hopefully I'll have consistent Internet and will be able to catch up with you all! Miss talking to you and I look forward to hearing about what's up in your lives and sharing in the love ♥

* * * *

Sending lots of love and support to mental_thatone and remuswulf, and hope you guys have somewhere safe to run to if you need to evacuate!

* * *

Sending good energy to you all, and wish me luck getting this job! I'd be working at the university, which means WOOOO gym access! I can work out before going into the office!

Run, Slappy, run!

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:24:46 GMT

Marathon training has officially begun!

I've been waking up at 6AM for the past few mornings in preparation for my transition into employed life and marathon training. Keeping a positive mindset and not letting thoughts of fear and/or doubt linger in my mind for long, as they don't do anything to help with creative thinking!

Thankfully, I've been able to wake up and get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off, and for that I've been doing my gratitudes :) Every day, every moment I keep in mind how important it is to be aware of the immense blessings I have, and how fortunate I am to be going through this experience in my life.

Job hunting is in full swing, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I am putting myself out there, looking for a job to hold things together for the time being. Something HUGE and immense is coming my way, but gotta keep practical in the meantime ;)

Additionally, keeping snape_on_plane in thoughts and prayers as the weather in the Southern states experiences another busy season. Sending lots of love to you and hope you get home safely ♥

Learned a lot this summer about planning and maintaining a garden in Florida, specifically on timing. Though the garden didn't quite work out this season (aside from some foliage and herbs), I look forward to starting again sometime in the early winter and get some kind of a greenhouse deal rigged up for early planning :) In the meantime, I've been doing the yard work and making sure that things are in good shape.

Every day brings countless blessings and endless things to be thankful for, and I'm finding that the stronger and more positive I keep myself, I'll be receptive to more and more good things as they come my way. I'm constantly reminding myself to keep the thoughts in the present moment, and to accept things for how they are. It is what it is! Can't go back and change anything, and certainly can't make decisions differently. Things turn out exactly as they should, and all of these experiences teach me to keep being strong, and keep building those mental muscles so that I'm prepared for the next great experience :)

As for the marathon training, I'm finally up to running five days per week (with Monday and Friday off as rest days) and though my strength training gets put aside from time to time (still working on optimizing my time XD), the important thing is my run program is progressing. I may be a bit behind on the marathon training schedule, but I know me and I know come race day, I'll be able to pull it off :)

There will be a legion of people there and a big group of people I know, and being surrounded in that energy will be amazing. I think about the race every single day, and am getting into the kind of mental position to handle the challenge. My body is progressively getting stronger, and I'm getting along with the rest of the weight loss. Again, every day has its blessings, and I'm training myself to see beyond any limitations and find the strength inside to overcome all.

After all, this too shall pass!

Chicago update #7 - Sunday, August 11, 2008... the final day.

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:14:34 GMT

Real life is... well, I suppose it's a matter of perspective. One side could see it as a major loss, and another side could be that I'm finally losing things that were always bad for me. It could be like losing an infected limb, and the loss doesn't mean losing something healthy, it means I've lost something dangerous, sick and cancerous.

It's still really hard to think about, let alone talk about. But in the near future, I will probably be calling some of you to have someone to talk to. I'm feeling sick and horrible and I really need my friends now.

Onto postive things!

It felt SOOOO good to write out yesterday's entry, and I'm looking forward to concluding these Chicago updates. The experience lives on through us and through sharing the pictures, the stories and the emotions.

I won't say here (at least for now :P) that I miss you all, because I know we will see each other again, and soon.

In the meantime, enjoy this final Chicago update, and here's hoping that life blesses us equally in ALL areas of our lives!

For the first time this con, I was actually the *last* to bed on Sunday night! It's usually the other way around, but I wanted to make a sincere and conscious effort to take better care of myself than I have in the past at these things, and I was satisfied. However, coming in the room last on Sunday night was definitely a good thing :)

Though we set the alarm for 8am for a 9am breakfast, somehow we all woke up around 7 or so. Erynn and I thought it'd be cool to hit the hot tub one last time, so once we called the concierge and learned that it was open, we gladly changed into bathing suits and ran upstairs, woo!

Met a really cool lady from Ohio (tee hee XD) who was in Chicago with her husband celebrating their anniversary, awe! She asked us if we were there for the HP con, and was really cool and asked a lot of questions when we said yep! Super awesome way to start the morning :)

After the hot tub, we went back to the room for a shower and change, and I put on my Sluggy pajamas, which I thought was quite fitting for a leaving breakfast XD Did some spots of latex on my head for the hairpiece, instead of slathering the shit on and spending the next few days pulling hair and getting it out - well, that was before I started putting hair serum or vaseline on it to help get it out, wuh.

The girls and I headed down and when we got to the ballroom, Jeremy found me and we sat together with more awesome people to join us. As always with these big group-style meals at cons, I spent most of the time running around with people and chatting, taking pictures and generally passing the love around ♥

Took bunches of pictures and ate some YUMMY breakfast food, downed a load of coffee and chatted with my quidditch team. After the pan-magical game stuff windled down, they got to awarding the quidditch trophies and respective game balls, and we went on stage together. Steph gave a wonderful speech and gave props to the other teams, which was quite magnanimous :)

Then she gave Jeremy the banner that we all signed (as a wedding present) and we took more pictures and basked in the awesomeness of each others' company :)

Said goodbye to lots and lots of people, but held it together and genuinely smiled through it all, knowing that they'll all be with us in heart and mind. Admittedly, it's never easy to see our friends cry, but I know for sure we'll see each other again.

When I headed over to the Ohio peeps, I said bye to a bunch of them but knew it wasn't time for others. Just couldn't do it yet.

After breakfast, Beth and her roomates very generously agreed to let us keep our suitcases and stuff in their room, which helped out LOTS! The hotel had another expensive service - it would have been $2 PER BAG to hold our shit! So thankfully these girls helped us out, yay!

We got all checked out - thanks Erynn! - and then Steph very kindly drove us to Sparky's, where we got to pick up Emily's car, woo! We then went back to the hotel and said goodbye to Steph... which was NOT easy. At all.

Once Steph hit the road, Emily, Erynn, Monica and I loaded up in the Em-mobile and drove to Soldier Field to check out the aquarium and museums.

Parked the car and hit a hot dog stand and the girls had vegetarian hot dogs, and Erynn bought me a Chicago-style turkeydog :) Thanks girl!

Went to the aquarium, which was a bit too rich for my blood. Emily decided she wanted to check it out, so Mon, Erynn and I walked around for a bit and chatted. We also check out the planetarium, but with the time we had available, we wouldn't get out in good time to get back to the hotel, load the car and head to Midway in time.

Then we went to the Adler Museum where there was a mythical creatures exhibit and...

... JACKPOT!

They have ONE day per month that admission is free, and that was OUR day! So, with the time we had available, we were able to see the exhibit and get out in good time, woo!

Went back to the car and met Emily, and drove back to the hotel. Texted Manda and eventually found her in the Staff room (thanks again to Monica for showing us where it was!). Poor Manda, she worked SO hard this con and really needed a nap and a massage! Said goodbye to the staff and gave lots of hugs and walked out of the room with Manda.

She said goodbye to Emily and Erynn, and I waited patiently. This is usually the part where I'm falling to pieces and can't look anyone in the eyes, as I'm crying so hard I'm shaking.

But this time when it was our turn to say goodbye, I felt good. It was different to see Manda be the one crying this time, but I was happy and thought about all the good times we shared, from this experience to the many I've shared with her before. Again, something hit me and I knew I'd see her again soon.

She told me that every time we do this, my shoulders get stronger and stronger :P Yay resistance training!

Left the staff area and headed to Beth's room. Got into the room and grabbed all of our shit, and said goodbye to the room :P

Called Beth to see if they'd be back at the hotel soon, and alas, they were on a bus and we wouldn't get to say goodbye to them. I said maybe it was for the better... and that the night before made up for it anyway :)

Ran into Hope, Jer and Jenn and said goodbyes :)

Monica was with us and as we stood by the car, ready to load up, we looked at each other and I told her she had to say goodbye to Em and Erynn first. We both had *that* look in our eyes and I had to wait to be last.

There's SO much to be said about meeting the right people in different points in our lives, and Monica is truly a treasure in this world. She's full of radiant light and shares it generously, and being around her, every moment, is an immense gift and sheer blessing. She nurture's the good in this life, and tends it masterfully. She's a magnificent person and it's beyond me how I got so lucky to have her in my life.

I'm crying now... what can I say? I love my Fandom Mommy to pieces ♥ ♥ ♥

But when I said goodbye to her, like with Manda, I felt happy! Again, it's never easy to see our friends cry, so I hugged her tight and told her I love her, and again, knew I'd see her again soon.

So much love!

After the final farewell, we loaded up in the car and Emily dropped Erynn and I off at Midway airport. It worked out pretty well - our flights were BOTH leaving at the SAME time!

Erynn checked in on the ticketless monitor, I had to get in line since I had some bags and was traveling on my very last non-revenue pass that I earned when I was still an airline employee. End of an era; the final goodbye to my airline perks.

Originally my flight was delayed, but we still had some time before Erynn's flight. So, we scoped out the eateries and decided to get some airport-style Greek food (all of Beth's talking of chomping on mediterranean later on with Monica made my tummy rumble). I, once again, had a gyro and fries, mmmm :) Erynn had a yummy veggie thing :)

Then we went to Ben and Jerry's and got some ice cream, WOOOO!!!! Erynn had Butter Pecan (which reminded me of Sparky ♥), and I had a scoop of Chocolate something with Cocounut Seven Layer (AGAIN). YUMMAGE.

Checked the moitors and found my flight was now ON TIME, woo! My gate was closest, so Erynn walked me over and we had to say goodbye. Awe, Erynn ♥

Got on the plane and got a text from Erynn that she was on hers :) Sent lots more love and lay back, enjoying my half-filled flight and window seat. Thought I'd have the row to myself (or maybe just the seat next to me) when a father and son sat next to me. Usually I'm 100% totally cool about it, but this time... maybe it was the lack of sleep or that I was really starting to feel PCD (Post-Con Depression). I nodded that it was okay that they sit with me, moved my stuff and looked out of the window. I think then it hit me that it was over, and it was time for me to very seriously start thinking about what exactly it was that I was going to do with my life in Florida.

I'm still waiting for an answer.

It'll come.

And, of course, some pictures!

Sluggy me with Cait, Tina, Serade, Matt, Tara, pinky hair and the other cool chick :P

Sluggy's early morning combo - coffee and sausage :)

MmMmmmm pineapple!

Awe ♥ Julie and me :)

Sluggy+Sasha's boobs = another new favorite OTP ♥

Again, I wasn't even drinking at this point.

The follow-through!

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE A SNAKE ON A CANE!!! Slytherins yay!!!

me and Kitty ♥ ♥ ♥

Quinn, Kitty, Jules, Sasha and me, yay!

Steph, Sam, Pattie, me, Erin and Mandala ♥

HP-Ohio! Crystal Balls! I love Crystal Balls as much as I love crystallized pineapple!
Jorge, Jeannie, Monica, Todd, Beth, Manda and Olek :) :) :) :) :) ♥ ♥ ♥

The captain speaketh

The Werewolves AWWWOOOOO!!!!!
Jeremy, Quinn, Kate, Me, Melody, Steph, Tracy and Machelle ♥ ♥ ♥

Jeremy, Steph and Quinn, awe :)

Steph and Jules!
So much love!!!!!

me and Steph, awe :)

BoobsBelly love!
LOL Beth's face :) ♥

Emily's awesome car dino :)

Chicago-style turkeydog!!!
numnumnummies!

No problem chomping this one! And of course, directions on my hand leading to where the car was parked :P

Emily, Monica, Erynn and me outside of the Adler Museum 2

Monica and Erynn outside of the Adler Planetarium

Chicago skyline again! 3

Tibetan wood armoire 4

Tibetan wood armoire wood inlay detail 2

Rock on, dragon pal!
And I was Hallows-licious that day :)

Monica and Erynn outside of Soldier Field

Erynn, me, Manda and Emily ♥

♥ ♥ ♥

I will always remember the Chicago experience, as honestly, it was a HUGE life highlight. When I say that I've put my entire life on hold for these wonderful experiences this summer, that's no exaggeration. A LOT of careful planning went into making it possible, and, truth be told, I wouldn't have done it any differently if I were to do it again.

No price can be put onto that, not ever. It was remarkable and wonderful, and I learned SO much and realize that there's still more work for me to do. There's no other way to learn these things than by going in with all my heart, and I got everything I wanted and needed, and then some.

It was the best trip of my life, and with that now as the basis for comparison, I look forward eagerly, ready for the next amazing adventure!

Holding you in reverence and love,
Karen ♥

Chicago update #6 - Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 21:39:58 GMT

WHEW, almost done with these Chicago updates! Getting online is still a persistent challenge, but eh. Gotta roll with the punches!

So! This update will include a LOT of things - this really was the biggest, most exhilarating, busiest, craziest and active day I had in Chicago! It started with tattoos, there was A WEDDING!!!!, the best ball of ANY con, and the day ended with happy tears, hugs, Stella Artois, and mmmm really good pizza :)

I've got less than an hour to crank this entry out, so if things get left out, hopefully I'll get to edit them... sometime! :P

Right, so... Sunday! Saturday night was the best, fullest and deepest sleep I had the whole time I was in Chicago. Though once again, I had missed ANOTHER Artists and Author's Night at a con (I NEVER make it to those, dammit!), the prospect of a full and exciting day made feelings soar :)

Woke up at a fairly respectable time in the morning and roused the girls. Emily, Sam, Kate, Steph and I headed to the car, and after some searching, got in and pumped for the ride to Tattoo Factory! When we got there, the guy who was supposed to come in, as well as the artwork we dropped off the previous night AND Steph's Hallows pin were nowhere to be found. As with most tattoo artists, there was an air of, "and what exactly do you want me to do about it?", so we were patient.

Ultimately, three of us decided to go for it, and when Sam, Emily and I stood before the artists, I opted to go first, of course! I love going first - takes care of the nerves/excitement :)

Beth, my awesome tattoo artist, took a bit to warm up to, but once we sat down and started talking, things went perfectly. She drew my Hallows mark out with the lightning bolt, we talked about the gold and red going in, and we were set! My Hallows (which was the basis for Emily's, too ♥) was the BIGGEST one yet out of the Hallows girls tattoo club :P, and out of ALL the Hallows Tattoos thus far, mine's the only one in color, mwuahaha :)

Got the transfer on, checked it out in the mirror and we were all set! Beth knocked it out probably in about 15 minutes, and I told her exactly how I felt - "I've got 5 tattoos now, and this one is BY FAR my favorite!"

:)

I LOVE it. Everything, the spirit in which I got it, the GRYFFINDOR-NESS of it all, or, as I'd later tell Monica and Beth, that to me, it symbolizes good ALWAYS conquering bad. Always.

I'd marry it if I could!

... plotbunnies, oh dear...

Anywho, after I got mine, I ran to a cafe close by and got some tea for Emily, coffee for me and a MONDO piece of lemon meringue pie for myself, mmmm :) Carried the goods back just in time to see Emily getting ready for her tat, and Sam get hers!

The girls were also done in a jiffy, so we loaded back up in Steph's Ravencar and hauled it back to the hotel.

Got back in good time, changed into Godric Gryffindor and met up with Manda and Erynn with Emily :) It was the lunch break, so we decided it would be smart to eat lunch in the hotel instead of go out, so we dined at Kitty O'Shea's, where I had some fucking awesome fish n chips, mmmm :)

As my lunch was getting cooked, I ran into the lobby to find Beth, Steph, Kate and Melody doing an arresting-Lucius pic, awe :) Beth was Kingsley (and looked awesome!), Melody was the lynx patronus (and looked SO CUTE!!!!), Kate was Tonks and Steph was emocuffed!Lucius :) Very well orchestrated!

Anywho, the girls and I wanted to do some Founders pics in some of the prettier parts of the hotel, but by the time lunch was over, there was just enough time to get to programming... if you could get into one of them!

Alas, again I WASN'T able. This and Phoenix Rising were the two fewest programming-attended cons for me, but it really worked out perfectly okay. I was able to work some more on finishing up the wedding stuff, gather my artsy goods and make it to Beth, Droxy and Manda's Death Eater mask-making workshop :)

The workshop was exceptionally hosted, and the presenters came prepared with lots of products (and great stories about scaring the neighbors with 50+ various painted masks on the front lawn :P) and they helped out with questions and such. I was able to knock out a pretty decent Death Eater mask, pretty close to an idea I'd been kicking around. I marked specific points on a sheet of paper (for the outline of the mask, where the eyes were, the nose, mouth and chin) and did some doodling on one half of the paper. The idea - you got it! - was to trace the pattern over folded foam and cut it out, making a symmetrical design for the mask, woo! It turned out pretty well :)

VERY quickly painted puffy paint over the black, put sparkly fabric paint over that and did an outline in glow-in-the-dark paint. I'd widened out the nostrils and cut teeth into the mouthpiece also :) Eventually I'll do another finish and touch-ups on the paint, but for now I'm happy with it.

Finished my mask with about 20 minutes to spare, so I was able to finish... lol, I was able to finish the wedding notes :P Figured it'd be a good idea to go up there with the image that I knew what I was doing!

Met up with the rest of the Founders and Olek was there to take some stupendous shots of us! Can't wait to see those :)

After the group shots, Manda and I did some Godric/Helga sassy shots and I got some solo shots taken. Had to say goodbye and ran my ass off to the lobby!

On my way back to my room, I ran into Julie, THANK GOD! She and I went to Draco and Perseus's room to pick up her Snape cassock that she was lending me for the wedding, bless her INFINITY! I'd started work on making my own cassock, but... why was I going to put 10 hours of labor into something I was going to wear for less than 2 hours?

RAN back to my room and changed like lightning! Remember, I had to get OUT of my Godric Gryffindor costume, take off the 'bro (boob-restriction!), try to manage my hair, get *into* the cassock, tie my chords, meditate and get into the right mindset and get down in time!

Was running around like a crazy person!

Got to the wedding room and found Jeremy all dressed up :) Put the programs on the greeting table, gladly found Emily and Erynn (still dressed as Slytherin and Ravenclaw XD XD), started the guestbook and cards and got to chat with some cousins, parents and guests. Then wanted to check on Hope and found her and Jenn in the next room, giddy and smiles all around :)

Told Hope that we're only gonna do this wedding thing ONCE! ;)

Talked a few things over with her dad about the exchange and such, and once we were ready, headed back to the room to chat with Jeremy. Talked to Steph a bit (THANK GOD for Steph, again!) and mingled with the lovely attendees, awe, bless them :)

Draco and Perseus looked positively darling, and I had a direct view of them during the whole thing. It was heartwarming to see them through the ceremony, and like Hope and Jeremy, the clarity of their feelings is unabashed and evident, awe ♥

The entire Werewolves team made it, which was just fucking awesome :) There were a few of the Crystal Balls among them, which again, warmed me so :)

SO MANY SMILES :) :) :)

Jeremy and I chatted for a bit and once we were ready to go, I looked over my notes, made sure my placements for the bible readings were all set, re-checked the scriptural notes and asked Jer if he was ready to get married! He gladly said yes, and Steph queued the music! I bowed my head and said a prayer and did my surrender, letting go and letting God :)

Jeremy walked the parents in and at that point, I think we all realized that this was actually happening.

I gotta add that it was a complete mind-trip to see a wedding from that perspective. I'm SOOOO used to being in the attendee section, so to see it from a completely different 180 degree perspective was pretty wild!

Steph got Hope's song ready, and I motioned for everyone to stand. Emily and Erynn did a "what's Steph doing?" dance and I was completely oblivious :P Then Steph motioned to the girls and they opened the door.

Enter Hope, the gorgeous, beaming bride!

As soon as she walked in, I was hit by an INSTANT migraine :P I've NEVER had one pop up on me like that, and even though I wasn't feeling at ALL nervous (physically), I guess mentally it had to do its thing. Thankfully I wasn't showing physical nerves, so there was no shaking, whew!

Hope's dad handed her off, and I asked the "who gives this rockin' chick away (paraphrased :P)" question and, from that point on, it was smooth sailing :)

Hope and Jeremy stood together and it was absolutely beautiful. Everything about the wedding was wonderful - watching everyone's joy at seeing the two of them together, the families, the smiles, the laughs, the happy tears... all of it.

There was some casual, off-the-cuff, unplanned humor involved, and gladly everyone responded well!

Did a quick greeting, a guided meditation, read some scripture, and then we got ready for the vows! The first night we all hung out, I asked Hope and Jeremy which wand they wanted for the Unbreakable Vow (the original suggestion, which lead to the idea and the execution, is credit Manda :D) - Sluggy's snakey wand or the Elder Wand. Hands-down, they chose the Elder Wand :)

We then did a book 6-style "I Will"-type of Unbreakable Vow and nixed the kneeling, since we didn't want anyone stumbling and/or messing up their outfits :P

The vows went well, they both agreed to a lifetime together, and then they exchanged rings and did the Unity candle.

I pronounced them, told Jeremy, "Kiss your wife!" and they exchanged the most beautiful kiss I've ever seen at a wedding, and quite possibly the most wonderful kiss I've ever seen :) After the kiss (and I could NOT stop smiling!), they hugged and I announced them, and then there was applause!

They exited the room, I followed and the parents came after me :) We did hugs all around and then came back in for greeting, picture-taking and I needed a serious dose of ibuprofen.

It felt like it flew by in 5 minutes, I'd hoped for a brief ceremony of about 10-15 minutes, and Steph told me it was about 30 minutes... so it all worked out just fine :)

Took some pictures and talked to the parents for a bit. I was touched, honored and totally blissful to hear that they were happy with everything, from the tone to the humor to the actual spiritual part of it, yay! Then got asked by a bunch of people to do their weddings, too :)

Happy to!

And I hope you guys know that I mean that - it was such a positive, elating experience for me and I'm SO happy it went smooth, and I'd be happy to do more for people I adore ♥

After we took some pictures, I had to haul it back to my room to put a compress on my head. Alas the migraine was still kicking my ass! Ran into a half-naked Manda in the room, and after some ass-smacking and joking around, chilled out and hung out for a bit. Once I started to feel better, I brewed up some coffee and snagged one of Em and Erynn's soups and chowed the fuck out of it.

Grabbed my dress and fedora, yay! I ordered a SUPER sexy pinstripe gangster suit for the ball, but it wasn't ready in time, dammit. I waited for WEEKS and the distributor told me it was ready to ship, then LATER said the manufacturer didn't have it ready. I came prepared with an extra dress, just in case my suit didn't make it. It all worked out just fine, as I needed the refund anyway, and I felt pretty awesome in my dress :)

Took a shower and got dressed in time to get to the ball, and JUST in time to see Hope and Jeremy's First Dance, awe :) Everyone gave them PLENTY of room on the dance floor, and like Phoenix Rising, they had the whole room gushing and "awwwwe!"-ing and generally basking in light witnessing them :)

Then, we all jumped in for a HUGE party boogie! Danced our ASSES off!

Again, it wasn't the 8 hours of Quidditch that made me sore, it was that PLUS the 4 hours of dancing that kicked my ass!

Took LOTS of pics, mingled with EVERYONE, gave hugs, kisses, sang lots, got up on the balcony and shook mah bootay!!! It was the best ball EVER, and it felt like prom times a thousand - and I LOVED my prom! Prom was aces, and somehow, this ball blew prom away :)

Met Steph and Mama Malfoy at their table and signed the Werewolves banner for Jeremy as a wedding gift, awe ♥ ♥ ♥

Danced, danced, and danced some more! FINALLY found Monica and Beth and got a great picture with them (the icon for this post, yay!) and immortalized Beth's boobs with some great pics of her with Erynn and a couple with me :)

Somewhere in between all that, I found Julie and Sasha dressed as Steampunk Big Bad Wolf Remus and Little Red Riding Hood Tonks and discovered my new favorite OTP ♥

Julie and Sasha FTW XD

Did a bunch of picture-taking for them, woo! They looked fucking RAD-TASTIC!!!!!

Met up with the girls again and did some more pictures, woo! After that, we ran back into the ballroom to finish the night off and dance for the last hour or so :)

Also, I just have to add this - for 4 hours, my purse was sitting at a table, completely vulnerable and in plain sight. Not once did I worry about it, and not once was it bothered, moved or taken advantage of. ANOTHER highlight of this amazing experience :)

After the music ended, NO ONE wanted to leave! We kept asking for ONE MORE SONG, one more song! The DJ cleared out and there was some improvised singing going on, but the rest of us gathered our peeps and headed back upstairs.

I was totally gross from all the sweating, so I took another shower and changed into my FEMA shirt (lol XD) and favorite shorts, and Steph, Emily, Erynn, Sam and I decided to order pizza, mmmmm! I am ALWAYS ravenous after a migraine, and I really needed to eat something fast. Had more soup and downed a Coke, and pretty shortly thereafter, the pizza dude called.

We didn't even wait for him to come to the room - we met him in the lobby downstairs and ate that whole damn pizza in the lobby :P Sam and I split the last slice, mmMmmmmmm yum!

Beth gave me the rest of her Stella Artois to down, mmmmm :)

We were met by Monica and Beth on the stairs, and we sat around, gushing over our blessed lives and how fortunate we are to have each other in our lives. Monica asked what our tattoos mean to us, and Beth said something beautiful about how it reminds her of the high-quality people in her life and how awesome the fandom has been for her.

I looked down and started to cry, and when it was my turn, I said, "It reminds me that good conquers all, ALWAYS." I was nearly sobbing at this point, and I told my girls how lucky I am that we all found each other (OMG I'm getting choked up just thinking about it and typing this up) how great life is to have them going through this experience with me :)

Monica and I hugged for a good, long while before she departed to her room ♥

Beth and I were alone on the stairs, and we sat there for a while and had one of those awesome, personal, deep sharing and profound conversations. We both cried LOTS (happy tears) and shared stories and it was wonderful to sit there and talk to her. We've never really had one of those moments, and I'm so glad we did, especially since we totally didn't get to say goodbye properly the next day. The moment made up for it, and somehow on some level, I think we both knew it at the time.

Seriously, EPIC love at this con, and especially that night. That whole day was certainly a HUGE highlight in my life, from beginning to end. It was nearly a 20-hour day, and when it ended, the bow was perfectly tied :) What a great ending to such a fabulous day!

WOW, I think that capped it (for the most part)!

Every time I think about that day and EVERYTHING that happened, between the moments I shared with friends and them giving me their trust, hearing them out on whatever they needed to say at the time, how much we danced, how much I sweat that night (I LOVE dancing my ass off! I ALWAYS dance my butt off at weddings! :P), how generous everyone is and has always been (again, so much thanks to Emily, Erynn, Julie and Steph for lending a HUGE hand!!!), how much it meant to get inked and share that with everyone, taking EPIC Founders pics, witnessing Hope and Jeremy's love grow with each moment, feeling and experiencing the tremendous love and energy pulsating in the wedding room, sharing that with so many wonderful people, dancing with so many well-dressed people, interacting with such awesome folks, hanging out with my team again, celebrating new friends and old, opening my heart and sharing exhilarating moments with great people... I could go on and on and on again until a Patronus flew outta my ears!

Thank you all again for such a great time ♥ ♥ ♥

And here are a LOT of pictures! All the wedding pics are courtesy of Hope ♥

<table> ... is this linked because of adult content?!?!?!?!?

Me getting inked

AWESOME pic of Beth inking me - LOVE the Hallows in the background :) :) :)

ME LOVING MY HALLOWS TATTOO!!!
The yellow shows up after the blood stops doing its thing

Emily getting tattooed!

Em inked :)

Em's done getting her Hallows!

Emily's kick-ass Hallows tattoo without flash

Sam getting inked by Beth

MmmmMmmmMM coffee and lemon meringue!
Prettiest slice of pie I'd ever seen, I just had to get a piece!

Me, Twinkie as a Lynx Patronus, Kingsley, Lucius in shackles and Tonks :)

Hallows-marked ink sisters :)

Death Eater mask workshop stuffs

Death Eater workshop participants
Godric CAN be multi-faceted, yo.

YAY Death Eater mask makers!

Wedding table with Hope's bouquet, the Bible, The Elder Wand, Slytherin, Gryffindor and Unity candles, awe :)

Hope and Jeremy wedding 1

Hope and Jeremy wedding 2 - Unbreakable Vow :)

Hope and Jeremy wedding 3 - the Benediction

Hope and Jeremy wedding 4 - lighing the Unity Candle
With Slytherin and Gryffindor candles ♥ :) ♥ :) ♥ :)

Hope and Jeremy wedding - the Kiss!

Hope and Jeremy wedding AWE huggies :) :) :) ♥ ♥ ♥

Me, Jeremy and Hope :)

Minister! Thanks a million to Julie for lending me her Snape cassock :) And I love my Gryffinchord :)

Manda, Kate and Mary ♥

Me, Manda and Kate :)

Hope and Jeremy have their first dance as husband and wife 1

Hope and Jeremy have their first dance as husband and wife 6

Hope and Jeremy have their first dance as husband and wife 7

Erin, Steph and me :)

Kate, me Steph singing:)

Tara and I

AWOOOOOO!!!!!

Dana's bringing sexy back! 2

Dana's bringing sexy back! 4

Me, Hope and Jeremy!!!!!

Me and Suzanne :)

Jeremy and his bro :)

Nick and Jer

Crowd shot 2

Erynn, Emily and I

HPDFW Reunion! Kitty, Kim as SexySnape, Droxy as Bleedy!Severus Snape and Me :)

me and Manda :)

me and Jules

Close-up of Jules and her incredible makeup!

Steph and Jules

Sasha and Julie

Me and Sasha

OTP ♥

Jules Steampunk Remus Big Bad Wolf 1

Jules Steampunk Remus Big Bad Wolf 2

Lisa as Dead!Hufflepuff :) ♥
LOVE this!

Manda snazzy 20's-esque Rita Skeeter ♥

Monica as Roxy ♥
Saucy little thing!!!

♥ Emily, Erynn, Manda and I ♥

♥ Kate, Sam, Emily, Erynn, Manda, me, Monica, Mary and Steph ♥
Awe, new and continual friends, yay!!!! Love these girls :)

jkg_vader's Lucius Death Eater mask, Manda's Death Eater mask and my quick DE mask that I made at the workshop

jkg_vader's Lucius Death Eater mask, Manda's Death Eater mask and my quick DE mask that I made at the workshop w/o flash

Me and Erynn :)

Erynn, changed into a different (less bloody) dress and the Katie Bell necklace :)

Me, Erynn and Sam :)

Erynn, Sam and Emily

This girl ROCKED! Indian party dance!

Me, Ellie, Serade, Dana and Tink ♥ ♥ ♥
I LOVE THIS PICTURE :)

Roxy! Monica and Velma! Beth
Beth's boobs have their own area code, yo

Monica, me and Beth :)

Beth, Beth's pillows, and Erynn
I love their faces in this - and Monica's face in the background :) Poor Beth's boobs took a beating that night, but they were definitely a con highlight!

The Official Terminus Pic.
BEWBS O_O

Sam and Erynn, West-side Denver-style

Jer, Hope and drunkified!Steph :)

Me, Jer, Hope, Steph and Kate II

Me, Jer and Hope ♥

Beth and I :) ♥
Smitten!!!

The next Chicago update... the Closing Breakfast, touristy stuff and then... saying goodbye.

I kinda almost don't even want to write it :P

::edit::

Um... can't get around this one, posting this pic has been problematic.

... is it filtered because of content?

WEIRD!